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Kat left me a question:
I have been following a families tragedy since June. They found out that their baby had Potter's Syndrome and that it would only live a few hours after birth. They decided to carry the baby to term (four more months). She and her family are so strong! I'm not sure I could be that strong in that situation. As a woman of faith...what would you do in such a situation?
I'm somewhat familiar with the family you mention here. Although I would say you never know for sure what you would do until you're personally faced with a situation, I have a pretty good idea of what I would do.
I would pray like mad for a miracle.
I would relish every movement, bump, and in-utero hiccup that my baby had.
I would plan the best birth possible.
I would buy some sweet baby outfits and the softest baby blanket I would find.
I would prepare my kids for what was to come.
I would go into labor on my own and do all the work of bringing my baby into the world.
I would remember that just because my baby doesn't have kidneys doesn't mean she wouldn't appreciate our loving touch, the feel of being against my skin, the voices of those that love her, and the taste of her mother's milk.
I would make sure my kids were on hand to see their new baby.
I would take as many pictures as we could.
I would appreciate every minute of my child's life and give her all the love and comfort I could pack into whatever length of time she had with us.
You say that these folks are strong. Not to take anything away from them, but having been in a tough situation or two myself, I ask you: what choice do they have?
Sometimes God puts you on a path that is hard and dark and painful and frightening, and the only way you can get through it is to live it out one tough day at a time. Surviving it doesn't mean you're strong. It just means that wishing you would die doesn't make it so.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
To answer your question
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6 comments:
You gave a really good answer. The family was given the option to abort I think at 5 months...so for me making the choice to carry the baby to term knowing what that means is an incredible thing...really walking the faith. They, like you, believe that it is more important to see this baby for a little bit and to love him than to just hurry the inevitable. Thank you, Dollymama.
Well, having a child with a problem is not a reason to abort. That's like saying that because they aren't perfect they aren't worth anything.
While it would be incredibly bittersweet to carry to term a child I knew I would probably not get to watch live a long and happy life, doing that would be a decision I could be proud of and live with. The other, I could not.
We tend to think that the only blessings in life are ones that feel good. Many times the greatest blessings are the ones that hurt.
No it is not...but apparently this family had some pressure put on them to do just that. "Many times the greatest blessings are the ones that hurt." This is so true...you never want to learn such lessons but they really are the ones that stick with you.
Some more thoughts on abortion in the case of pregnancies where the baby is not expected to live:
1. Abortion does not come without risks. Women's bodies suffer from abortion and the legacy of that can be far reaching. It does not make sense to me for a woman to subject herself to the risks of abortion when there is no physical problem with her carrying on with the pregnancy.
2. We are all going to die sooner or later. Why does a baby's life count less? Shouldn't each baby be able to live as long as God gives? Does their life count less because it's within the womb?
3. What would an abortion teach our other children? If they were to get in a car accident and become profoundly handicapped, would we be wishing we could make a convenient choice instead of living out the challenge before us?
4. Not all prenatal testing is accurate, and miracles still happen. Those two factors alone are enough to give me hope.
Aside from my moral beliefs on abortion, I do not think that abortion is a good intellectual choice in most cases either. The movement to legitimize abortion as a worthy option has not only cheapened life in many ways, but has lied to the people that bought into it. Plenty of women today now know the truth of the thing, and are suffering the aftereffects of abortion. http://www.inourmidst.com/ is a great web site to help with post-abortion needs.
As the owner of a 3D ultrasound business I had an incredible experience with a family in a similar situation. They were told that their baby had a serious genetic abnormality that would leave him with numerous physical and mental abnormalities and that because of the physical problems he would most likely not survive birth. They had 4 other children. The mother called and said that she wanted to have the 3D ultrasound done so that her family could see the baby while he was alive. Her physician discouraged her from this and told her that she could take all the pictures she wanted when he was born. As the mom said to me - I may want to do that as well, but I would rather have pictures of my baby alive. I was prepared for a very sad session and had actually left a gap in my appointments anticipating needing to get myself together after this appointment before seeing anyone else. What a wonderful suprise I had! This mother had not only educated herself on this disorder over the few weeks she had known there was a problem, but she had also educated her children who asked very intelligent questions and asked to look at various parts of the baby's body so that they could see if he had the abnormalities frequently found with this diagnosis. The baby was beautiful, the pictures were very clear, he moved his arms and legs, touching his face etc. The children were delighted and so was the mom. He did have obvious abnormalities but he was beautiful to them. She told me that she knew that it was not by accident that she was given this beautiful little boy and felt strongly that the lessons she was learning through her pregnancy and those she would learn later would be for a greater good. She was doing everything she could to have a healthy pregnancy and give him the best chance possible. During the final weeks of her pregnancy she ended up on bedrest awaiting his birth. He indeed was not able to survive his birth but this family had been given a gift of having been able to see him while alive and bond with him in a very special way. I was inspired by the wonderful attitude that this mother had transferred to her children and the tender love she had for her baby. I know that her strong faith in God gave her courage and strength. I would like to think that I would have been able to handle it as well as she did but you really don't know until it happens to you. I believe having a few moments or hours with your baby is certainly better than none. All children are on loan from God. I cannot imagine anything worse that could happen to me humanly speaking than having something happen to one of my children. I thank God that I have never been called on to go through such an experience!
Katy, I didn't think that. I was just sharing in general.
Mom, I'm glad you told that story. It's one of the best ones.
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