Should Color-blindness Be The Goal?

Back in February a friend of mine described a situation that made her sad. The platform was her Facebook page. The subject was colorblindness, or lack thereof. In relation to race.

This friend is a white woman who is married to a black man from Africa. They have two young daughters. We have been friends with them for probably at least 13 years, since they were just dating. They are lovely people.

The friend described a situation where she had her three year old daughter plus a friend at a play place in the mall. Her daughter accidentally ran outside the boundaries of the play area, and the mom was not aware of it. A man within the area said to her, "Ma'am, is that black girl with you?" (I assume he was trying to alert whatever adult was responsible for the child that was getting out of the safe area.)

So, the fact that the man described her daughter as black caused my friend to be sad, because she thought we were not supposed to "see color" in our country now.

Huh?

She had a ton of comments from people who saw this man's comment as ignorant, cruel, rude, stupid, and many other negatives. They wondered why didn't he say, "Is that little girl wearing purple with you?" or, "Is that beautiful little girl with you?"

Honestly, I thought it was absurd.

Here's a guy in the play place, trying to watch his own kid, and he sees a child getting out of the play area and no adult seems to be aware. He's looking around, trying to figure out which adult goes with the child. He makes a guess, and asks my friend if the child is with her. Except he dares to use the description of her apparent race.

He's a guy, for goodness sake. He's not going to mince words and describe her as "the girl in purple" any more than he's likely to notice her cute shoes or red hair bow. He's not going to risk seeming creepy by describing a stranger's child as "beautiful" or "adorable." This is Kentucky, you know. The guys are pretty down-home about stuff.

I wasn't aware that there was some move in society that actually discourages us from admitting that we can even *see* race. For some reason people OF COLOR are allowed to see race. I read and hear comments from people "of color" all the time that say racially distinctive things like, "For a white boy, he sure can play ball" or "for a white girl, she sure does have soul" or "I'm a strong Latino woman!" And then let's not forget Black History Month, or various black achievement awards. Why are these things ok, but a man describing a child as a black girl a horrible thing?

The idea that our society should be color blind is, to me, one that hasn't been thought through. It's like the short-lived "African-American" title, which quickly reverted to "black" (since not many "black" people living in this country have ever been African). There's nothing wrong with being whatever race or color that you are. When used solely as a description, there is no stigma or judgment attached to it. Choosing to be offended where none was intended is wrong.

Today a different friend on Facebook expressed her frustration of wondering if we are truly trying to be a color-blind society, why are surveys asking about our race? She was somehow equating this with inequality.

Again, it set off my BALONEY meter. Here is what I wrote:

I have seen people siting that we are "supposed to be a color-blind society" as a reason to be offended when people do still see color. I guess seeing color or identifying someone by color does not strike me as the same thing as not seeing people as equals. I was a part of a discussion about this awhile back and I am still trying to understand the point of view of those that posted there.

In the case of a survey, there are many pieces of demographic information collected such as race, income level, educational level, and zip code. All of these things are used, but I don't find it offensive that someone would identify me as a part of a larger group of people that I have factors in common with. Maybe it's true and maybe it isn't. That's the survey person's problem, not mine. :) Surely some surveys find that there are sharp differences between people that seem to fall along lines of these factors or others. Right? Are we supposed to pretend that people living near a border crossing would not have different opinions about immigration than people living far from the realities of the situation? Of course there is a difference. Same with a lot of other things.

Yes, humans share a lot in common. We also have a ton of variety. The point of most surveys is to understand where the varieties are and which groups of people tend to have which opinions.

The other day one of my daughter's friends at school made a comment, in jest, remarking that she was "such a white girl." We find stuff like that funny, not offensive. (and I felt vindicated that we had yet another example of my belief that Yes indeed, people do point out the whiteness of people, not just other colors or races. This is not automatically a put-down. Noticing the color of others is not a bad thing. I fear that this color-blind agenda is actually causing people to feel less comfortable around people of other colors, because they are not sure what is ok to say, if they constantly have to pretend that we are all the same color, and are unsure if they can ask questions pertaining to racial heritage or experience. I feel like it is a bad move that is not actually in favor of people being united. In this country, part of what our unity needs to be includes accepting and acknowledging differences and various heritages, not pretending they don't exist and don't matter. Each piece of the differences contributes to the whole.

I have no desire to live in a color-blind society. I do not believe that it would be positive or uniting for our society at all. Mutual respect does not mean that we must ignore differences. The end.

Meghan McCain: I like her

I discovered Meghan McCain's blog somewhere during the campaign months, and have enjoyed her fun and smart perspective on politics and life.

She wrote a great post about body image here, and more recently an article on it here.

I was surprised to learn that Meghan had been criticized for her body size. Weird! I've always thought of her as beautiful, and still can't wrap my mind around someone calling her heavy or fat. What on earth kind of society are we in that a perfectly beautiful young woman is called fat in public by another woman?

I always find it ironic and sad that people seem to feel that being convinced of their rightness also entitles them to behave badly.

'Tidal wave' of homeless students

Heartbreaking.

Right

I just watched an interesting photo and audio presentation about a new book called Right. The author and photographer spent time at Patrick Henry College, and documents her observations there with photography, in addition to words.

The author does a wonderful job of respectfully discussing her experience at PHC. For me, these photos remind me of so many reasons why, even as a Christian homeschooling mother of six, that Patrick Henry College has absolutely no appeal to me. The author probably has little-to-no idea about the big movements behind the philosophy that PHC is built upon. The whole patriarchy thing, the whole flawed glorification of days gone by thing, and the us-against-them thing. Frankly, I found a lot of the photos kind of sad, and some of them just kind of embarrassing. More than a current event book, it's more like a side show at the circus kind of look into a subculture of the US. Curious. A little interesting. A little disturbing.

Did You See The Sarah Palin Rap?

I'm thinking this makes her more lovable than ever.....clickety-click!

A Bitty Bit on Politics

I watched some of the presidential debate the other night and found it thoroughly disappointing. Neither candidate said anything that caused me to feel great confidence about them. Much of what they said had me wondering what on earth it all means in plain language. I found myself wishing that I could have a normal conversation with these guys to find out what the bottom line is to what they believe and what they plan to do in DC.

This article by Peggy Noonan summed up a lot of my impressions.

John McCain's mention of a spending freeze concerned me. What will be frozen? And for how long? When I think of the people I help every week at the Emergency Food Pantry, I wonder how their lives will be impacted if the government suddenly stopped sending them housing assistance, food stamps, of the gov't food commodities that we distribute. I would love to get some more info on what this proposed freeze is all about. Anybody know?

Someone in need

I'd never heard of the Nienie blog until today. Blogger Stephanie Nielson were critically burned in a plane crash on August 16. Stephanie sustained burns over 80% of her body. Her husband was burned about 30% of his body. They have four young children. You can read more about their situation here.

Their medical needs a great---multiple skin grafting surgeries, and more have already caused their hospital bills to be over $2 million dollars, and their insurance capped out at $1 million. Fundraising efforts are underway, and donations are being accepted. Go see how you can make a difference in the life of this family. Last I checked, praying was free.

Impressions of the RNC

I can't get Twitter to work on my loaner computer, so I'm going to update this post as I watch the RNC online.

General impressions:

Fun music, but....

Lots of white man's overbite.

It is for good reason that venues usually offering dancing as an activity are dimly lit. Nobody should have to see this in full light.

Why oh why do speechmakers have to sound so speech-y? Why can't anyone give a speech that sounds like normal speech? I can. Why can't they? Every time I see political speeches I find myself wishing I could be there to show them how it's done....

Here's a question for anybody who cares to answer: Do you think that what is said in these speeches means anything to the people listening? So much of it seems to be the typical slogan-type ways that politicians speak. I find myself thrilling a little bit when someone actually says something specific and real about an idea or a plan.

Mike Huckabee: A guy who can *almost* give a normal-sounding speech. Funny, too.

I see a lot of comments by people talking about how much they don't like John McCain. To me, knowing how much he has truly endured and given as an American speaks volumes about his commitment and motives.

Oh lawsie....pointing out that Sarah Palin played basketball and was Miss Wasilla....oh my. Im cringing.

Good job pointing out that the Palins are a family just like the rest of us. I hope their daughter Bristol is feeling a lot of support. What a lot for a young girl to deal with.

The governor of Hawaii is doing a great job with her speech!

Rudy is calling out Obama's mail....I would be hiding my head under the bed if I was Barak tonite.

Excellent speech by Rudy Guliani.

Cindy McCain's lime green dress----I love it that this woman doesn't feel obligated to limit her wardrobe to red, white, and blue.

Rudy is stirring the pot! He's been fun to listen to.

Sarah Palin is rocking the house!

Her speech was awesome.

(Did any of you see little Piper Palin licking the palm of her hand and using it to swipe down her baby brother's hair? What a hoot!)

Well, this thing is going on longer than I'm willing to stay awake. I guess John McCain will have to go on without me watching. G'nite....

I read this article about a free healthcare clinic set up near the border of Kentucky. I read stuff like this and just cry. Both for the people in need, the people that helped, and for our country that has this wretched situation where health care isn't always available for those that need it. It seems to me that our nation lacks love and compassion when our own people suffer without such a basic need.

Visit Remote Area Medical. Better yet: Donate
Learn more about The Health Wagon and donate here
Save the Children is here, and you can donate here

If you are someone that is leery of donations to organizations that you can't see with your eyes and touch with your hands, how about if you make a trip to the grocery store (or to your own pantry) and buy a bunch of stuff and take it to your local food pantry. Maybe you could buy things like Band Aids, Tylenol, Vitamin C, and basic first aid items. Just recently while I was at the food pantry a man came in with a cut on his hand that was bleeding. All I had to offer him there was a tissue to clean up the blood. He went on his way, looking for some help.

There is so much need all around us. It doesn't take that much to help. You'd be amazed at how rich you are if you could see what you have through someone else's eyes.

Chapman Family on GMA

If you didn't get to see Steven Curtis Chapman and his family on Good Morning America today, you can see it here.

Women Rise Up

I recently responded to a post on one of my egroups that I can't stop thinking about.

The post was from a pregnant woman, expecting her 11th child. She explained that her first 9 births were normal, safe births, and that her 10th baby was in a frank breech position, so they had a c-section. Now here she is pregnant with baby #11, and her doctors are telling her that it is incredibly unsafe for her to have a VBAC on this birth (only because of the one c-section, not because of any particular issues with this pregnancy), but it'll be as simple as pulling a tooth to have an elective c-section.

The woman has a family history of blood clots, giving her additional risks related to surgery. And, heck--she doesn't want to have a surgical birth! And here she is, being bullied by the people that are supposed to be taking care of her.

Women--hear me now. You have to SPEAK UP. As my midwife says, "Vote with your feet!" (stomp! Go! Don't go! Whatever it takes.)

As long as women allow themselves to get shuttled along through major surgeries and are denied normal, natural births, we will only continue to see more of this. As it is, most hospitals in the US are no longer doing VBACs under any circumstances, which is a crock of bull, because there is NO sound medical reasoning for this.

At the last point when I kept up with the stats, the chance of a uterine rupture during a VBAC was .05%. Not five percent. HALF of ONE percent.

In other words, there is a statistical likelihood of 99.5% that a VBAC labor and birth would be perfectly fine.

When you factor in the reasons why that half-of-one-percent of uterine ruptures do happen, it's typically because of the use of pitocin or cytotec or other synthetic drugs used to try to force a woman's body to do what it isn't ready to do.

And when you know that most uterine ruptures are not fatal, and not necessarily even dangerous, it makes the no-VBAC position even more ridiculous.

Women, and the men that love them, you need to remember that the buck stops with YOU. It is not enough to quietly obey your doctor, being sent down the chute like a lamb to slaughter.

Think.

Research.

Speak your mind.

Say NO when you do not want what's being handed out.

Learn the phrase "I do not consent" and repeat it until you are comfortable doing so.

Be prepared to walk away from your health practitioner if you are not getting the care you deserve, and are not confident that they will help you get the birth you want.

Look at your other options. Is there another doctor? A midwife? Another place you could go to for the birth? Have you looked into home birth? Can you just walk into a different hospital to have the baby at the last minute? ("oopsie! Thank you.")

Think outside the box.

In short, know that YOU ARE WORTH IT. Do not open your mouth and swallow their poisonous medicine.

If we do not advocate for ourselves and our children, who will?

Related post: They Are Not the Boss of You!

Finally Reunited With Her Children After Six Years

This is a pretty -wow!- kind of story. This woman has been held hostage for six years, and was finally able to escape and be reunited with her children. I cannot imagine missing six years of my child's life. wow.

Happy Day: FLDS Families Reunited

The children are going home! I am thrilled. You can read about it here.

This Teacher Takes the......

What would you think about a kindergarten teacher that encouraged her 5 year old students to "vote out" a peer with Asperberger's? I call her The Worst Teacher of 2008. Watch an interview about it here.

In Defense of Subway

There has been a whole lot of flap among homeschoolers about the Subway contest for kids the explicitly excludes homeschooled kids. This is one of those situations where I'm embarrassed to be in the homeschool group.

Listen up, folks: This is America. Any business can have a contest for anyone they want. It can be for people with brown eyes only, for women only, for men only, for kids in a certain age range, or whatever. If Subway wants to offer a contest just for kids that have a school to share the prize with (the prize is $5000 worth of exercise equipment for the winning child's school) then that is their right. For homeschoolers to put up a big fuss, boycott Subway, send a zillion letters, and stomp their feet is, to me, ridiculous.

You can find me at Subway, enjoying a 6 inch turkey sub on honey oat, with pepperjack, tomatoes, carrots, cukes, pickles, and lots of black olives......

In my travels around the internet today I found Caleb Chapman's web site. I hadn't known that he is a singer and songwriter himself. You can go to his site and hear some of his music. I found the lyrics to be quite ironic, considering the tragedy the Chapman family is going through right now. Caleb is obviously a very talented young man and it seems like he has a good foundation. Keep praying for these dear people.

Progress for FLDS Families

Finally today there is hope that the courts in Texas have still got some brains. Here is an informative link about the decisions by the court that the children were wrongfully removed from their homes. Of course, nobody has returned the children to their homes, so justice hasn't happened yet. But I have hope that it will be.

Frankly, once these children are home safe and sound, I hope that CPS is sued in behalf of every single child that was taken. They deserve millions for the damage that has been done and the scars that these families will carry with them for the rest of their lives.

Horrible News--Please pray for the Chapman Family

This morning I happened across this tragic news story. Steven Curtis Chapman's son accidentally hit his five year old sister with the car, and she died. I cannot imagine the deep, horrible level of pain this entire family is going through. Please join me in praying for them.

Zoe Children's Homes

Here's a little article about one of my most favorite organizations--Zoe Children's Homes. You can learn a little more about how the founders got started in their quest to rescue children from human trafficking.

How does this make you feel about Texas foster care?

I happened across this interesting video that explores the situation in Texas foster care where something like 60% of the children were on psychotropic meds, even as young as 2 and 3 years old.

I do not know when this report came out, and I did check out the web site that put together this video and that looks mighty weird, but the information in the video certainly gives me concerns.