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There is an interesting article in Forbes from last week and a lot of people in the blogosphere are commenting about it. The article states that if men want to be happy they should not marry a career woman.
A lot of those comments come from conservative Christian stay-at-home women who seem to want to say, "Yeah, see?! If you're a career girl, your life is going to stink. And that's because you're not staying at home like you should be!"
These are often the same women that want us to believe that they are so utterly fulfilled in what they do at home that nothing could top it, and of course that's just one more side benefit to doing things the Right Way. I notice that many of these women also have home businesses, write books, have a blog, etc. so really they DO enjoy getting to do some outside activities besides just the basic housekeeping and childrearing....but they kind of overlook that point.
One woman commented that if you are spending your time doing what GOD wants you to do, you do not have time for anything else. Interestingly, she found time to be reading and commenting on blogs that day....huh. ("and on the eighth day God said, 'Let there be blogs!'")
I've had a lot of thoughts about this article and the comments I've read about it, but it's been difficult to put it all into words. Today I think I have the simple points that this article made me think about:
1. The article is basically saying that women who have options aren't necessarily willing to stay at home or stay in an unhappy marriage. Makes me wonder how many women without options are feeling stuck and unhappy.....
2. Many men want what a career woman brings to the relationship, but apparently then are disappointed because they didn't marry a person who wants to be a homemaker.
3. I seriously wonder about this talk of being happily married. All that glitters is not gold, my dears. Just because people stay married does not mean they are happy. Right off the top, 50% of couples divorce. And who knows how many of the remaining 50% are actually happily married? ( I would venture to guess that at least half of the remaining group are not happy.) Marriage is difficult even under the best of circumstances. Why do people wed and think they'll be happy for the rest of their life?
4. I can also tell you from years of being on large egroups for women who are mainly Christian homemakers, moms, and homeschoolers, that there are LOTS of unhappy marriages and major problems for these folks. It doesn't seem that being Suzy Homemaker is helping things in those situations, either.
5. It's interesting to me that the "Proverbs 31 Woman" is held up as a shining example for Christian women of hard work, lack of sleep, and industrious behavior. Interestingly, this passage of scripture mentions nothing about this lady cooking or cleaning or interacting with her husband and kids. (it does say she makes sure they have clothes) She works, she manages servants, she handles a home business and real estate transactions, and makes her husband look good in society. From what the Bible says, he doesn't worry about anything she's doing--he knows she's doing a good job and he can trust her. She's a free agent, running her own ship.
She sounds like a career woman to me, actually. She manages it all and works hard at it. But she's not reported to be cleaning out the toilets and making casseroles and homeschooling......
What did the Proverbs 31 husband like about his wife that would be useful today?
Saturday, September 02, 2006
If You Wanna Be Happy for the Rest of Your Life....
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7 comments:
I think that woman you mention(proverbs 31) can do all of that because she had slaves! Back then slaves were the norm...so they did all the menial tasks while she took on the more "important" societal ones. Today that is not an option so it is left to the lady of the household to do it. that is why most of us feel so overwhelmed, that there's too much on our plate and that we are never getting ahead. It's my theory anyway, LOL! interesting blog entry!
Yes, she had slaves. What we have are appliances for our slaves!
Think about it:
dishwasher
washer
dryer
microwave
oven
stove
vacuum
Not to mention convenience items like ready-made foods and bread, cars (or even bikes!), everything we need in life being able to be purchased at the nearest Walmart (blankets, clothes, towels, soap). All that we have and do was done in a much harder way in ancient times.
We have a lot of helpers in our life. :)
BUT we still are the ones starting, working on and completing those tasks. They are still on our mind, a forever TO DO list. We may have these helpers but we still have to get the job done ourselves...it's not left to someone else's hands. I wish I had a robot!!! ;-)
Yes, you're right. I have found that even when I've had helpers in my home (like after having a baby, for instance) it often takes quite a surprising amount of energy to direct them on what to do, follow up afterwards, etc. It has almost never been a situation where I could just count on everything to get done without direction. (except for when my wonderful mother has come to help us! She is awesome!)
But, I hear ya. It would be nice to have helpers that know what to do and do it. A robot would be ideal. :)
I have to say that even though things were a little rough in the beginning...my husband and I are true partners now! He came from a "traditional" home as well. Unfortunately, that translated into me doing everything inside the home AND working full time. That has changed and we are both happier!
Until the industrial revolution, men traditionally worked at home too. Why do they get a pass to leave the home and work, while women don't?
Oh yeah, I agree that the proverbs 31 woman sounds more like a career woman to me. Contributing to her household, yet making sure it ran smoothly.
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