Update on the grouch

Well, after purging my favorites and saying, "Take THAT you loser of a web site!" over and over again, I decided it wasn't helping me feel that much better. I had gone from grouchy to downright sad. I ended up sitting down with my son and using the tactic that Jewish mothers have used on their pouty pre-Bar Mitzvah sons for eons: guilt.

OK, not exactly. I'm sort of kidding. What I did was sat down and talked to him about a pattern I have seen in his character where he greatly resists anything that is different, creative, unusual, or somehow more formal than every day wear-your-dirty-jeans-and-wipe-your-nose-on-your-sleeve sort of lifestyle that he is accustomed to. One example I gave was from a few years ago when I got the idea to serve Thanksgiving dinner in courses rather than just a huge free for all. I had a particular appetizer that I thought people would really enjoy on it's own, and had some other creative ideas for how to put it the courses together. Different? For us, yes. But, too weird to be acceptable? Hardly! Yet he criticized me and complained up one side and down the other leading up to that day and all through the dinner and afterwards as well. (and everybody else at the dinner thought it was just fine) (now that I think of it, I should have dragged him by the ear to the bathroom and washed his mouth out with soap. too bad i didn't think of that then!) This party is kind of going in the same direction. He is focusing on his discomfort over the fact that we want him to say something at this event. You know, something terrifying and horrifying such as "I would like to thank you all for coming" and maybe a few other words. Not the Gettysburg address or a Latin mass or anything. Just something so that he's responding to the kindness and investment of others, showing some gratitude, and not being a bump on a log.

So, anyhow, I told him that it is rude of him to criticize others attempts to do special things, that this is a party WE are throwing in HONOR of him, not a party for him to pout because he'd rather go to the water park, that it is not ok for him to be a jerk to me because it has elements in it that are a little out of his comfort zone, and that I am not going to stop being creative and coming up with special events in life just because he doesn't like it. I told him he had really hurt my feelings by focusing on a small thing, instead of having a good attitude and also focusing on the many fun things that are going to happen at the party. I think I managed to look suitable downhearted and he seemed to feel sorry for his behavior. He said to me, "Mom, I am sorry for acting....whatever." Uh huh. Straight from the heart. Thanks, son.

I told him I didn't want to hear one more word of criticism from him about this, and that any time he is tempted to fuss about some aspect of it, he could instead put his energy into remembering why we are doing this and what it's about, and then be thankful that he has parents and friends willing to spend so much energy torturing him in this fashion.

Good times, folks. Good times.

On the breastfeeding bruhaha, I guess I have reached the point where I just don't care no mo. I have said no every time he has asked to nurse since last night. I have been screamed at, clawed at, punched (which is actually kind of funny because it's such a pathetic little punch), and cried upon. But, alas, I am finished with this and I don't think that I can be any more gradual than this. I have been working him down to less and less, but the point we are at now is one where the only way to get lower is to stop altogether. So, hopefully he will not be traumatized for life, and hopefully neither will I. I have a pump if I need it to get over the rough spots. Let us pray that I can hold fast to my Just Say No motto.