Dolly Mama Strikes Again!

A few moments lacking in discretion today:

I was outside in the front yard this evening talking to my husband about a job he wants our son to do tomorrow, and someone from our old church was driving by and decided to stop to say hello. Nice! Except for the fact that I was caught out there fully dressed....but without a bra. Sadly, the shirt I was wearing was one that would make that fact plain to see. GREAT! Do you think the guy noticed that I tried to cross my arms strategically the entire time he visited with us? (The Flylady is always nagging about wearing shoes, but I think it's even worse to get caught without one's brassiere!)

Later, I came in from the back yard and the house was all quiet. I supposed all of the children were downstairs watching a movie. I guess my husband had the same impression as he came running along, picked me up, grabbed me, and made quite a display of his amorous urges toward me there in the kitchen. Would have been just fine as one of those stolen moments that parents of young children live off of, if not for the fact that our giggling daughter appeared. She had been hiding on the couch and saw the whole show. Ooops. (in case you're worried, it wasn't rated R, and no nudity was involved, but not exactly the kind of decent, fatherly image my husband normally likes to project)

Once we got the kids settled down for the night, and I had a little talk with our scandalized daughter about parents and their crazy love displays, we thought we were safe. My husband loves to ask me how much I weigh, knowing fully that I will never tell him! So in the course of tonite's silly how-much-do-you-weigh conversation I was commenting about where I thought my various extra poundage was stored. Hubby commented that really probably 10 pounds is located in my boobs, to which I assured him that although ample, these bazoombas are in no way even close to 5 pounds a piece. So make my point I went to the pantry and found a nearly 5 pound jar of spaghetti sauce, and invited my husband to make a weight comparison between the sauce and the, er, parts in question. A little harmless married goofing, ok? Yes, except that just as I said, "Check for yourself! There is no way one of my boobs weighs as much as this spaghetti sauce!" our 13 year old son came around the corner, eyes wide with a combination of horror and amusement. I don't think my husband and I have moved apart with such sheepish looks on our faces since we were in high school...... I could hear my son laughing his butt off all the way downstairs....

My husband will be at work tomorrow, so hopefully I can manage to behave properly on my own.