It's been a long time since I bored you with a boogeyman post!

But here I am at 2am sitting at the computer--a luxury I only get when the hubby is away and I hear things go bump in the night.

I was thinking about my past two posts. I wanted to add about the one with my children's character that although it was frustrating to me that some of them grumbled and complained, they did do a good job of staying together and behaving in socially acceptable ways. and the younger ones stayed with their buddies. :) I have not totally failed, just have a ways to go.

On the preschool graduation, I decided that maybe my declaration of the celebration of mediocrity was overly harsh, or else it isn't unique to today. I realized that I can even remember my own preschool graduation. I think that at my elementary school we also had kindergarten and 6th grade graduations as well. Also, I think one year the homeschool group did some end of the year event that they called a graduation, and everybody got to walk no matter what grade they were in. So, I guess this is not anything new. But I still think it's kind of dumb. I can understand an end of the year *assembly* of some sort. That would make more sense to me.

Despite my tough talk, it was actually kind of hard for me to go through with skipping the event. It's funny how tied in we are to expectations and fears of somehow messing up our kids. I also started wondering if the teacher might ask me why we didn't come, and if I'd make her feel unappreciated if I admitted why we didn't attend. I would hate to add any stress to the teachers that do such a good job with my kids!

Alas, the time has come and gone and we managed just fine without it. Of course, once I was up investigating the weird noise I heard I discovered that Doodles got up and peed on his floor instead of making it to the bathroom. See? See?! I have scarred him for life by not believing that his preschool graduation was important! What have I done?

Now I have yet another pee pee puddle to contend with tomorrow (today). It's been a big week for bathroom-related cleanups.....

Since I was getting annoyed by every little sound I brought a fan into my room and turned it on. I can never decide if it's better to have the fan and not hear the noises, or to hear the noises in case for once it really is something that needs to be investigated. Pick your poison, I say...

My husband is away for 4 days in a row due to regular work, over time, and special training. Although I've gotten used to him being gone overnight, four days is a bit much sometimes. Especially on a weekend. I better get used to it, though. The part time second job that he took on in November has really not worked out to be regular enough to help us out, so he is back to trying to get a job with EMS. If he can, he would go full time with them, which would mean that he would work a 24 hour shift at the fire dept, and then go across the street for a 24 hour shift with EMS. When we talked about it the other day he was willing to do it, but looked very grim-faced about it. I think that for him a schedule like that is extremely daunting. I guess it would be for anybody.

It really drives me nuts when I see people writing so smugly about how anybody can live on one income if they are only willing to tighten their belts a little bit. I am a champion belt-tightener, and I can tell you that it is mighty hard to do! Even with a lower-than-average house payment, no credit card debt, only one car, spending less on food than most people I know, and doing almost no going out or entertainment stuff, it is a struggle all the time. Obviously the struggle is getting pretty bad if we are now looking at a full time EMS position!

I am so glad that I have a husband that's willing to work. So many families don't have that. However, it seems so sad to me that he'd be working so much so that the rest of us can be home. He'll be missing most of it! It seems pretty out of balance, really, but we don't see any other options. Summer break is coming right up so there is no way I could get some outside job that would work out to be profitable while paying for childcare for 6. I have considered taking on day care kids, but my husband wants me to save what sanity I have left for dealing with our own kids. (he's right) When the school year comes I will still have my youngest at home for half the school day 4 days a week plus all day on Friday. That schedule will be in effect for 2 years. And after that my daughter will be going into 6th grade and I have my doubts about sending her to middle school, so the good ship Homeschooling may be calling my name again by then....

I do what I can from home, running my teeny weeny business, plus now writing ebooks. I ebay every now and then which is helpful in short bursts. There's only so many ways I can slice the pie that is my life..... I try to make a difference but mostly the things I do have unrealized potential. :/

A home is like a ship--it needs a rudder. Especially when children live there! If I am not here to do what I do, I cannot imagine the shape my family would be in. (dahsed upon the rocky shore, I say!) I think it would be stressful for all of us. (Not that having a husband gone for 2 out of every 3 days isn't.)

There don't seem to be any easy answers. We have to pay our bills. Therefore we need more money. Somehow that's going to happen, and that'll take work. I think that if he could do the EMS job for a year we could pay off our car, get caught up on our bills, and buy another used car debt-free. It is pretty tricky for us to only have one car. My husband carpools to work most days, and if that doesn't work out then he either takes the car and I have nothing, or we get to drop off and pick up to his job which is a half hour away. Fortunately we don't run a lot and I am perfectly happy to stay at home, so many times I can do without the car just fine. However, it is not convenient and many times I wonder if it is even reasonable or safe. If one of my kids gets hurt and needs to go to the doctor or hospital I would have no way to get them there other than imposing on a neighbor or using an ambulance (which last time I checked does not include transporting 7 people in addition to the EMTs).

My advice to those starting out in life is to work all you can and save all you can so that you can be as debt-free as possible. If you can manage to not have student loans, car loans, or a mortgage, your life will be a lot nicer. You could work and enjoy your life, rather than have to work simply to live. I teach my kids this all the time. I am trying to get through to them that they have an opportunity to set their life up better than we did. I wish somebody had taught me about this when I was a teenager. I had jobs and worked hard and wasted a lot of that money. (a lot of it went to college too, though) So did my husband.

OK,the long and winding road of this post is now coming to an abrupt stop. Aren't you glad I don't write many of these any more?