Dolly Mama Strikes Again!

There is a saying:

"Once your consciousness has been raised,
it cannot be lowered."

I've found that to be true in my life. Have you?

These days the thing that has me thinking about that is home education. I homeschooled my oldest children for 6 years before deciding to put them into our local schools last year. We hadn't really expected to make that decision, but then we had 3 babies in 3 years, and, uh, well, babies getting good care and kiddos getting good home educations were mutually exclusive goals.

This year we have 5 of our kids attending school, and mostly it's going well. The trick is that once you know about the many benefits of a home education, it's always lurking in the back of your mind as a possible solution for the sometimes disappointing shortfalls of traditional at-school education.

My first grader and 6 year old, Jake the Great, is the one that has me concerned. He's always been.........a child who needs more *time* for things. He's SO sweet and dear, SUCH a cuddler, loves his family and is just darling. He's also always seemed to be on the younger end of the maturity spectrum for his age. If it weren't for the overall need for him to be in school and get speech therapy last year, I would have preferred to not put him in Kindergarten until this year. Instead, he's with his agemates in first grade, but it's really tough on him.

There is a TON of pressure for kids to read very well in first grade. Don't want any of the children to get "left behind" I guess. Please---leave him behind! He'll catch up! All this rushing is doing him no good. He's already the monkey-in-the-middle at home, with 2 older siblings who have already been there and done that. He doesn't often get to be in the position of being a WINNER, and I fear that his current school situation is breeding more of that.

He's working hard and I am spending nearly an hour with him many evenings helping him with homework plus giving him extra help with reading and spelling (basically, in those 2 subjects I am doing much the same as I would be if he were homeschooled this year). I think he will be able to pass first grade (barely), but I don't think that is going to serve him well in the long run. He'll just go on to be a struggling second grader, if his life-long trend continues.

What I believe he really needs is to be given a year to mature and for all that he has been given to learn has a chance to "jell." (Or is that "gel" as in gelatin? Jello or gelatin? I'm just not sure....)

I'm also very concerned that because of how much of a struggle school has been for him both last year and this year, that he is dangerously close to not developing a real love for learning, which is something our oldest child got so much of and has benefitted from so much. It always saddens me a little when a child thinks that learning is equivalent to school work, which is equivalent to all that should be avoided.

So, I'm watching and waiting and thinking over some possibilities for sweet jake. We could have him repeat first grade next year. Or we could have him stay home for one year, and then the year after that put him in second grade. Giving him the homeschooling year would afford him the break he needs and the time he needs without crushing his spirit, plus would accomplish the same goal of holding him back a year. I would like to put him at a grade level that will be more meeting with his maturity level, and give him the opportunity to be a real winner in his grade, rather than a struggler.

The question is: Will I be ready and able to homeschool him next year? Squiggy will be 2.5 then. I'll have a 4 year old that goes to preschool four half-days. Seems like it might be able to work out. Except of course that I also want to
Become a Certified Natural Health Professional
Become a Doctor of Naturopathy
Help others with my natural health knowledge and develop it into a wellness practice
Write a book
Plus get and keep my home organized and also keep my sanity.

Hmmm......

So, you see, the fun of having an inescapably raised conscious! I am pretty sure what will be best for this son. It is not the same as parents who had no homeschooling option in the past. I know what options I have and I know the benefits it can afford us. I also know the price it costs.

Ah, the wonders of being a mother. The love and concern for one's children supercede so many personal wants and needs, doesn't it? I guess I could see this challenge as some vehicle to my personal and spiritual benefit. That's probably the truest thing about it.

So, for now we shall wait and see how first grade progresses, and in the mean time I will try to do what I can to meet my goals and care for myself. That means doing the home stuff now since it's right before me, freely available, and this is my chance to get it done. I can also continue to enjoy my fun time with Squiggy as the only kid with me full time. And of course I'm loving my book group and my opportunities to think and dream, and the time I get with my husband. All of that is mine until mid-May. After that, there's no telling where life's needs and pathways may lead.

My, I'm feeling a little poetic tonight.....