It Ain't Easy Bein' Cheesy

You know, one part of being a parent that has been difficult for me is the part where you are supposed to keep a straight face/serious face/disappointed face when one of your kids does something that they shouldn't. I'm not much of an actress. I have a very expressive face, and pretty much however I feel is what you see there. I have a really hard time managing the stern face when the situation actually cracks me up.

The one time I did really well with this was way back when I just had one kiddo. It was nap time, he was probably 2, and although I normally never would have subjected him or me to a trip to the grocery store, whatever I needed there was absolutely important, so we went in. My son was generally a really cheerful and fun little guy, but he was totally tired and crabby that day. I got him set up in the cart and we rolled on into Kroger with him fussing and crying and red-faced. I told him that if he didn't calm down people were going to be looking at him and wondering why he was such a fusser. And did he care? No sirree. He carried on as we went through the produce department, until we noticed an older woman watching him throwing his big fit. So what did little Prince Charming do? He yelled out nice and clear,

"STOP LOOKIN' AT ME YOU STUPID OLD LADY!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I managed to make the appropriate shocked look, the apologetic nod to the woman, and the stern parental words to my son.

But, inside? I was laying on the floor in the produce dept. laughing til I hurt.

Since that point, my skills in this are have gone downhill.

Tonite my oldest child proposed that we give out new chore areas. I have our house divided up into what we call areas, and each of the 3 oldest kids has one area that they are supposed to pick up every day. We generally switch these along with the marking periods at school, and at the beginning and end of summer break. He was sick of his area, and it's the right time, so I declared a change. My daughter was going to switch spots with him, although she wasn't real happy about it. I had actually cleaned *her* area myself today while they were at school, so I proposed that she would help him clean his area today. She wasn't exactly being cooperative, and my oldest son chimes in,

"Don't be a prissy sissy!"

She got a very offended look on her face (parents of more than one child over the age of 5 will recognize this as the face that is made when one wants to get the other sibling in trouble by acting much more offended and hurt than they actually are) and looked at me for help.

"Did you hear that?! He called me a prissy sissy!"

And all I could do was start to laugh.

"What did you say to her? Pissy Sissy?"

And then the rhyme avalanche began, as only 12 year old boys can do:

Don't be a prissy pissy sis!

Pissy sis strikes back!

My prissy sissy is pretty pissy!

Prissy sis is pissed!

Prissy sissy is having a hissy!

It's a prissy sissy hissy fit!

And the grand finale, sung to the tune of John Jacob Jingleheimer Shmidt:

"Our Girl is a pretty pissy sis!
She's pretty prissy too.
Whenever we go out
the people always hiss
There goes pretty prissy pissy hissy sis!"

How is a mother with a sense of humor supposed to maintain law and order under such circumstances?