Sunday, May 11, 2008

Warning: Missing Body Parts

A friend of mine that is in my book group was kind enough to alert me to this terrible situation. I thought that it was the least I could do to let you guys know about it too:

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys
removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to
sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The
replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and
what happened to mine ? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.
Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.
And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to
match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my
new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original !! I
realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was
fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to
and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary-my
body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me
next ?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey
neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the
coffee !! Those "plastic" surgeons are using REAL replacement body
parts-stolen from you and me !! The next time someone you know has
something "lifted," look again...............was it lifted from you ??

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.


P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my boobs. I was lying in bed
and they were gone !! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see
that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them
hidden in my waistband......


Katy said...

LOL! This very same crime is starting to happen to me...and the scary part is that I'm not even quite yet 30!

GardenGoose said...

LOL too funny. hope you find everything again. have a great week.

Stephanie M said...

I see what you mean, and I'm calling the cops!

Alana said...

LOL! They've come and gone at my house a LOOOOOONG time ago!