Greatest Hit--Number One

I meant to repost this little gem on it's one year anniversary, but I missed it, so you get it today instead. I think this is probably my most clever writing inspiration ever. Enjoy!

The Potty News Network.
All Potty, All The Time.

(PNN press) Yesterday war was declared on two unsuspecting terrorists, Izzy Bin Peein and Doodles Bin Poopin. The terrorists had been going about their business unencumbered for 4.5 and 3 years, respectively. Their crime: The Only Two Children in Preschool Still in Diapers. President Mami Bin Changin, learned of their crime and decided to take matters into her own hands. "This means war!" she declared to the crowd that had assembled to hear her speech over the weekend.

Mami Bin Changin took the first strike in the cold brightness of Monday morning, when she told Bin Peein and Bin Poopin that they had to do time on the potty before they would be allowed to go on the bus to school. While they sat she told them of their crime, and let them know that war had been declared and would not end until they changed their messy ways.

Bin Poopin fought back with a double retaliatory strike, soiling two pair of underwear in less than 20 minutes. Bin Peein took the opposite approach by keeping his underwear dry, agreeing to do time on the pot, but saving his soiling for the diaper that he was changed into before preschool.

Later on Monday Mami Bin Changin began to stockpile weapons:
Potty Posters
Potty Stickers
Potty Prizes
and other Potty Paraphernalia

Mami Bin Changin's Military Advisor Daddi Bin Feddup suggested new underwear, but only if it could be purchased in the color brown. Mami Bin Changin decided against taking this advice and instead purchased fresh Spongebob and Scooby underwear. Her strategy? "I'm going to do all I can to break down the walls of terrorism! If it takes candy or prizes or cartoon undergarments, I'll follow this thing through!"

Attenders of her speech were amazed at the steadfast resolution that Mami Bin Changin displayed. "I've never seen her so determined!" "All those prizes and stickers....Bin Peein and Bin Poopin don't stand a chance." "She's a strong leader. When she puts her mind to something, there's no stopping her. It won't take long for Bin Peein and Bin Poopin to change their ways."

Mami Bin Changin declared that the war would be relentless until won, even if it takes months or years. "It will cost the taxpayers money, time, resources, and energy, but we will press on. The victory that we will win shall ensure peace and prosperity in our society. We cannot back down!"

PNN correspondents will be on the scene 24 hours a day until the conflict is resolved. PNN: The leader in potty news.