Lost in Translation

Some things that have been said around our house today:

(Scene: Early morning. Kitchen.)
(Starring: Dolly Mama, Jake the great--age 6)

Jake: I hope we get to go outside today at school. It's boring when we have to stay inside for play time.

Dolly Mama: Well, didn't you get to play outside yesterday? It was a nice day yesterday.
(It had been 65 degrees and sunny)

Jake: Yesterday? Um.....when was that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Scene: After the kids got home from school. Living room, looking through the back packs.)
(Starring: The Firecrapper, Izzy Man--age 4, Dolly Mama)
(background: Each week in preschool there is a letter that they learn about, and on Thursdays the kids are supposed to bring something that starts with that letter, because it is Share Day. At circle time they get their letter items and show the class what they found to bring that starts with that letter. Today I placed the items in ziploc bags with sticky notes that said "Share item" since they were small and not necessarily going to be recognized as the Share item rather than just some junk in their bag that little boys like to collect.)

The Firecrapper (looking through Izzy Man's bag while Dolly Mama is in another room, speaks to Izzy Man in his best I'm-talking-to-a-preschooler-with-learning-disabilities/Mr. Rogers tone in his voice): Oh look! Ear Plugs to share. Izzy, would you like to share these ear plugs? These are from school and it says to share.

Izzy Man: Yeah, ear plugs. I gots ear plugs.

TF: Yes, ear plugs. Isn't that nice? You have to share, though. (looking around and nodding at at the other children in the room, as if they would all start clamoring, "Yes! Me! My turn! *I* want to use the ear plugs now!")

DollyMama is in the other room wondering how TF could believe that the school sent home those little foam peanut earplugs wishing for a 4 year old to start sharing them all around the family. Also wondering how hubby does not recognize that the writing on the note is hers.

Dolly Mama (entering living room): Honey, the share item was *from* us for Izzy to share at school. You know, Share Day? Where they have to bring something that starts with the letter of the week? it's P week, so one of them took a Polly Pocket Pool and the other one took ear Plugs.

TF (nodding head like it all makes sense to him now, snuggling Izzy Man on the couch, same tone of voice): Oh! So, Izzy, who did you share your ear plugs with?

DM (bursts into peals of laughter as she imagines Izzy Man at preschool going around nicely asking every classmate, "Would you like to try out these ear plugs? I brought them to share!"): Honey! Share day doesn't mean they share it as in give some away or let everybody use it. It means you sit in the circle and show what you brought! (laughing, laughing, laughing)

TF (retreat to bedroom to lay down, rolling eyes): Well I don't know what the heck they do at share day!!!