It Was Just Another Manic Monday

Yesterday was one of those days that sometimes happen to me. It's as if every item on my To-Do List for the present and on into the future comes charging at me all at once, with exclamations of, "See! You can't even get this stuff done! You are not doing a very good job! Heck, you STINK!" I'm not exactly sure what brings it on, although I think not getting enough sleep probably has something to do with it.

So, I had myself a little boo-hoo time thinking of the house stuff I never seem to be able to get on top of.... the business stuff that sits undone..... the things the kids need that seem hard to accomplish..... the healthy eating I know I should be doing but for some reason just eludes me..... the extra weight I know I should lose...... Some days it just seems nearly impossible to stop noticing that at just about every turn I see things that seem to whisper to me, "You aren't doing a very good job................."

Some days all of it just seems too daunting to even figure out how to fix it. I thought about trying to do some wonderful super-productive schedule a la Managers of Their Homes (which I have used and appreciated in the past). I thought about going to the library to get some organize-your-life books. I wished really, really hard that I'd somehow have a giant financial windfall that would allow me to hire someone to come in full-time and do all the stuff I wish I could. And then I settled on taking all the pictures and magnets of the refrigerator, and cleaning it really well. It was something small and doable. Something I could mentally point to for the rest of the day (and today!) and say to myself, "See. At least I got that done."

I wish I could tell you that this one simple little thing revolutionized my attitude, and now I am rejuventated beyond comprehension and feeling much, much better. But, um, not really. I have at least gotten a few more things done, working with the idea that maybe if I have less clutter I might feel more peaceful. So, now I have several things to say, "OK. Not quite so bad. You did get that and that and that done....." I'll take any improvement I can muster.

Some days it feels like I would need about 2 weeks of solitude to get my act together. First it would take several days to sleep a lot extra, lay around reading and taking long baths. Then once I got rested up and got the laying around thing out of my system I could get on to things like finding the receipt for the washing machine, balancing the checkbooks, paying the bills, organizing stuff, throwing away things, and rearranging furniture. If I didn't have anybody around needing me for anything, undoing all the work I already did, or hanging on my legs, I daresay I could accomplish great things.

But, alas, I'm right here with no chance of 2 weeks (or even 2 hours, most of the time) of solitude, trying to shovel snow in the midst of a blizzard. And I'll be right here doing that same thing for the next 16 years or so.

So, you know, tune in tomorrow for more fun reflections from Dolly Mama.