Saturday, April 30, 2005

Invincible Mother Breaks Down! News at 11!

Every now and then I get to correspond by email with a gal that I went to high school (and middle school, and elementary school) with, and recently I invited her over here to Dolly Mama. She wrote today to say how much she, as a mother of 3 young children, could identify with a post I wrote a few weeks ago about only being able to clear off the refrigerator. As I was writing her back, part of my reply struck me as worthy of adding here.....


Life as a mother is something amazing. On the one hand, we are doing one of the most important jobs in the world. On the other hand, almost every step in that journey is made up of something extremely mundane. A lot of the time it seems like we just go in circles, or run (or stumble) along on a treadmill for our entire lives. It is very easy to only see the sameness, and not see the long term issues, to see what we are working for and that we are actually getting closer to our goal. I was quite inspired recently by watching the Lord of the Rings movies. I hadn't watched them before because I'm not a fan of that genre, but after hearing a few things about the story I decided to check it out. I found that I identified strongly with Frodo's journey. I had been experiencing desperation, pain, hunger, weariness, fear, doubts, and more. (obviously not as mad as poor little Frodo, just in my own way) Watching him press on for a higher goal, knowing that he was the only one who could bear the ring, reminded me that what God has given me to do is a job that only I can do. God needs me to play out my part in the bigger story of the world and eternity. It may sound corny, but it was a great reminder and encouragement to me. We may not see our place the big story, but I believe we do have a place. We need to press on like the fate of Middle Earth depends on us!

From there I accidentally found a treasure at the library: a wonderful book called Surrendering to Motherhood by Iris Krasnow, which fed me some more inspiration to help me go ahead and renew my inner commitment to throwing my heart into being fully present for my children.

So, I got nice and inspired, only to have my back blow out on me yesterday! I've been in bed both days with a painful lower back that makes regular stuff pretty hard to do. This happened to me last year, to a much more severe degree, and I used the time (more than 2 painful weeks) to reflect on my life and if there was a connection between my physical situation and my mental and emotional situation. (I'm broken down=I'm broken down/ I can't bear the weight of my life=My body can't bear the weight of my life) It was a good thinking break for me that sparked a lot of stuff, and here I am again wondering what I shall deal with this time. Invincible Mother Breaks Down! News at 11! :)

The single, clear profound thought that came to me the other day (before my back blowout) was this:

I have always found the strength to do the right thing for my children.
I am strong, and I will continue to find the strength I need to keep doing that.

So, there it is. The battle cry of the down-but-not-out mother. Hang in there, sisters!

1 comment:

Meg: said...

What a great analogy!