Alright, already...the story you've all been waiting for.

Ok, well, maybe not, but I've got plenty of story to tell, and time to do it, so here it goes.

For those of you who have been visiting me here for awhile, you may remember about my older three children being in Junior Bible Quiz at church. This is an activity where the kids learn various Bible information and Bible verses, and then go compete against other kids at area churches once a month during the JBQ season. When we first started going to this church almost a year ago and we found out about this, my kids said they wanted to be in JBQ. Then after they had been going to the practices, been given team t-shirts, etc. they decided they didn't want to be in it any more...on the eve of their first competition. At that point I told them they had to at least go and see what it would be like to compete, and then if they didn't like it they didn't have to go to JBQ any more.

When they got home they claimed they hated it and never wanted to do JBQ again. But somewhere along the line they each changed their minds and decided to be in JBQ after all. I made it clear to each of them that if they said they were going to stay in it, that they were going to Be In It for the entire season no matter what. We had already seen some tendencies with our kids to get into stuff and then drop out of it when the going got tough, and we really wanted to get past that. We also don't want our kids just saying yes to all sorts of activities that they aren't really all that interested in being in, since it takes a lot of energy to take kids to stuff. If they Really, Really, Really want to be in something, I'm happy to get them there and help them do it. But I'm sure not going to be driving 6 kids hither, tither, and yon for the next 14 years to go to stuff they aren't really that into.

So, anyhoo, every one of them agreed they would stick with JBQ. And then the whining started again.

So for the past several months I have been determinedly taking my kids to JBQ practice against their will over and over again, not sleeping in on Saturday mornings when they had meets to go to, etc. etc. all in the name of good character development.

And then we got to the point when it was time for the State Competition. This is an event that takes place 3 hours away from our home. The group was going to stay overnight in a hotel with a pool, la ti dah, big affair for kids you know. Oh, and the group's treasury was paying for it all. We were asked if we would like to go and help out with t-shirt sales (one of the guys from our church has a shirt business and had designed the official souvenier shirt for the event), bring all of our kids, and get everything paid for. There was a nursery for our little kids too. And, the tshirt sales would only be for a shirt while before and after the meets, and in between we could go watch our kids do their quizzing.

Since this was going to cost the JBQ teasury a pretty penny, we wanted to help our kids take the event more seriously than they normally do, so we worked with them for about 6 weeks doing extra studying of their quiz questions so they could do their best. Our 9 year old daughter was the one working the hardest and she was really excited about it.

So then we had our wonderful At-Home Vacation week which featured sickness and me going away for a funeral for 2 days, then got home for one day, and then we were off to the JBQ thing. We had been told to come on to the hotel pretty much any time after lunch, that the woman coordinating things for our group was going there early to make sure all of our rooms were set for us, etc. So, great. The kids were chomping at the bit to get us out the door as soon as we could throw our stuff in some bags and go. So, off we go across the state with a car load of kids, and get to the hotel in a downpour of rain. My husband is wiped out due to still not feeling very well and he is looking forward to laying down for a nap with our little boys who had not slept during the drive.

So I run in to the hotel, wait in line to check in, and find out that, "I'm sorry ma'am. Your room will not be ready for you until our usual check-in time of 4pm." And it was 1:45pm. Great. "But you are welcome to use the pool!" super. You can imagine my husband's lack of glee when I came back to tell him the news. "Our trip coordinator failed to mention that check in time is 4pm! ha. Great. Funny. But we can swim!"

So, we had to dig out swim suits from various bags, and then run through the rain into the hotel and get the kids changed in a bathroom, and then hang out by the pool with a hundred other displaced JBQ people for over 2 hours. Which wasn't our idea of a good time. Although the kids thought it was great!

Once we got into our rooms, I was very disheartened to find that they were *smoking* rooms, so they stank. And, you know, I have my 2 year old with breathing troubles. Dandy. No proper check in time AND smoking rooms! I'm in heaven.

The room wasn't even very clean when we got in there. I found a water bottle and a huge blob of lint and some popcorn on our floor. Yes, I feel good about this room. It was particularly small, too, and didn't even have the sink in with the toilet. Out of 5 possible stars, this place gets the DollyMama ranking of one star. Only.

To make things even more fun, we had an extra little girl staying with us since her parents hadn't come along. I didn't know her before this event, except that I knew who she was. If I had known what she was like I may not have agreed to let her stay with us. She was one of the more, uh, *assertive* little girls I have ever known. Bossy is an appropriate adjective. So, I had her trying to tell me what to do, tell my kids what to do, and trying to get me to let her out to roam the hotel hallways (as if!).

The dinner outing was planned and we were given hasty, approximate directions to the restaurant, but nobody even pretended that they were going to try to drive together. So we were promptly left in the dust as all the other vehicles from our church drove off the the place. Fortunately we found our way there, got all the kids in, and got to eat. But, you know, nobody even made a pretend effort to include us or make our way the least bit easier. The other adults didn't try to make us feel welcome or save us seats or anything else. It was very weird since we were supposedly so *wanted* to come on this trip. We were feeling wanted, alright.

The church that was hosting the event was HUGE. We got in the door, our big kids were whisked away to wherever the quizzers had to go, and we were shown to 3 large boxes and given various supplies for setting up the tshirt table. it was like, up to the second floor, down several curving hallways about a half mile, and eventually you find the right room to set up in. Which we did with our little boys ages 2, 3.5, and almost 5 in tow. And the room we got to set up in? The concession room! That had lots of candy sitting out on tables to tempt our little boys! How convenient!

So, we set up the stuff while also telling our little boys "No candy! Don't touch the candy! Please sit down here and be good boys for us!" They were actually very well behaved, but it feels stressful as the parents, trying to figure out how to do the crowd control for the kids, plus sell the shirts.

We needn't have worried, though, because nobody even knew we were there selling shirts, so nobody came along to buy any.

After awhile we wondered, "What do we do now?" We had been told we only needed to have the tshirt sales "open" for 20 minutes before and after the quizzing. But, were we to just leave the shirts where they were and take the money with us? Box up the shirts? Put them someplace? We had no idea. Great communication and organization for sure!

Eventually we decided to take the money and leave the shirts, and my husband took me and my 3 little boys back to the stinky hotel room so I could put them to bed and try to forget my misery by watching several episodes of What Not To Wear.

The next day started dark and early with our little visitor and my daughter waking up quite early. The little visitor hissed at me, "Hey, we can't sleep. Turn on the TV!"
ME: No. I'm not turning on the TV. People are still asleep in here.
HER: But we can't sleep!
ME: Then just lay there and be quiet.

After awhile of hearing the girls discuss making shadow puppets she checked in with me again:
HER: When are you going to turn on the TV?
ME: Later when the little guys are awake. Stop asking.
HER: Well, can I at least turn on some lights?
ME: NO.

It went kind of like that off and on for about 40 minutes, with me trying to sleep in the cruddy double bed with 2 little boys beside me.

Then we had breakfast to look forward to. I had been told that it would be a continental breakfast, which I know are not always the greatest, but they usually at least have several kinds of fruit which is what I like to eat for breakfast. But, alas, no continental breakfast at this fine establishment. We were having McD's for breakfast. I'm sure the kids thought it was wonderful, but I didn't. McDs isn't exactly the way my body likes to start the day. But, ok, I'm trying to be flexible!

The food was supposed to come at 8am, and my little visitor girl started telling me at about 10 before 8, "When they knock on the door, I want to open it!" And she reminded me of this approximately every minute or so. And then the food was late, so she felt she had to point this out to me over and over again.
HER:"The food was supposed to be here at 8. It's 8:06 now."
ME: Yeah, I know it.

Her: The food was supposed to be here at 8. It's 8:11 now.
ME: Yep. I guess it'll be here when it gets here.

Her: Well, the food was supposed to be here at 8. It's 8:14 now. How about if I go see if so-and-so's mom knows when it's coming.
Me: No, stay put. I can't watch you go to her room, and it won't help it get here any faster.
Her: But I wonder why it's not here yet.

blah blah blah blah blah blah..............

(and we had other food to eat with us in the room, so it's not that she was just hungry)

Eventually the food came, she got to open the door (although I was so sick of her and feeling so sorry for myself that I almost opened the door just to spite her, but forced myself to behave like the 33 year old woman that I am).

Once we got over to the church we got our little boys set up in the nursery, which was a big help. We then set up the tshirts at location B, and through the day ended up moving to locations C and D as well.

We found that despite being told that we didn't have to do the shirt sales all the time or for very long, that we were kind of locked into it. Once the meets start, you can't enter the rooms. Also, there was no way to figure out where in Fort God our kids actually *were.* I got to watch our oldest child quiz in one match, only because I happened to walk past his room and see him through the window and got in before they began. What I saw made me wonder how any kids are even willing to do this activity.

The set up is this: A Sunday School room. A table with kids lined up on one side with buzzers, and various officials on the other side of the table. Behind the kids, some coaches and scorekeepers, and maybe some parents or other onlookers. The official asks the questions, the kids buzz in and answer. And they do this in a very quiet, sterile, non-animated, non-interesting way for 20 minutes, and then they go to another room and do it all over again. For hours. The 20 minutes I was stuck in that room literally almost put me to sleep. it was So. Boring. Seriously.

At lunch break my daughter came to us in tears. Why? Well, one of the girls on her team said to her in the middle of their recent match, "I don't even know why you bother to come! You never answer any questions!" This really hurt my daughter since she has been working so hard at studying, plus this is her first year in the thing and so she is not an old pro at it like some of the kids that don't even need to hear the entire question to buzz in and answer.

The thing that really stood out to me about this situation is that the girl who was rude to my daughter is the child of the leader of JBQ at our church. Her parents are really into JBQ and she has been learning the questions and answers for a very long time. And yet, this child seems to have completely missed having a Christ-like attitude toward others. (and that was a very typical type of comment for this girl to make. She wasn't just overtired or something.) What is the point of knowing a zillion pieces of Bible information or even verses if you still go around treating others like crap? Reminded me of the Bible verse about how if we have all the bells and whistles but have not love, we've missed it.

We've actually seen quite a disappointing amount of rotten behavior from the children at this church. Interestingly, the kids whose parents are on staff, at every service, or are some other type of pillar of the church, are the meannest, most out of control, brattiest, grouchiest kids there. I don't think I've ever encountered such an unpleasant bunch of kids in any other setting. Another interesting thing that I have noticed is that with all the emphasis that the Assembly of God denomination puts on speaking in tongues as being evidence of being filled with the Holy Spirit, once again I see the Super Wonderful Leaders of the church being some of the most unpleasant people to be around. Rude, gossippy, complaining, backbiting....... So, I think to myself that I do not see good results coming from this place or this teaching. Pretty sad.

Frankly, I don't care of my family gets to church 3 times a week. But I do care about how we treat each other and others. We are far from perfect, and our kids can be quite mean to each other even though they are very nice to other people. We're still working on it. And I know those other kids aren't finished yet either. But, it has just really struck me as being kind of an amazing amount of not-so-good-stuff showing up at this church.

So, anyhow, we suffered through the JBQ thing, at least our teams didn't come in last, and we vowed never to return. If our kids want to be in it next year they sure can, but we won't be going along to states. And if they don't want to be in it, we can sure understand why.