Friday, December 14, 2007


Maybe I should just change the name of this blog to 'Random' because it seems that's all I do here these days.

First up--Creed. I've heard about them for years but never listened to their music. Discovered their song Lullaby and really love it. This video isn't worth watching, but at least you can get a feel for the song. Just. Beautiful.

Other than that, things are marching along here. Homeschooling has it's daily ups and downs. Fortunately, it seems that we mostly have ups, or at least even days, so that's something to be thankful for. Now I'm thinking about "what-ifs" for next year and my other kiddos...

While some of the country was buried under snow and ice, we enjoyed a gorgeous 78 degree day here this week. What fun!

I've been thinking, again, about our ideas of how God is involved in our lives. Here's something I don't understand. Let's say that something terrible happens to someone. As they walk through this difficult thing, they may say something like, "But I'm so thankful to God for helping us because if this had happened (earlier/later/last year/next week) it would have been so much worse." Now, explain this to me. We're supposed to believe that God got involved to the point where the event was scheduled in a somewhat helpful way (as if tragedies ever are....), but didn't get involved to the point where the tragedy was avoided? I guess God can do whatever He wants to. But, honestly--when crappy stuff happens, why would we think that God got involved only to an extent, but otherwise chose to leave us with a bad situation?

It's stuff like that that boggles my mind.

My own experience with bad things happening caused me to feel almost like I had to attribute any ray of sunshine, anything helpful or encouraging at all, to God. I think it was partially out of shock (and therefore habit), and partially out of desperation to not feel alone, and perhaps even superstition that a bad time is not the time to start questioning God (might get zapped!!). I understand that we grab ahold of whatever brings us comfort, and that's worth something. It just doesn't seem really honest, though. (for me) I'm still searching for answers--I'd honestly like to get to the point where I can feel an honest satisfaction about my beliefs. Otherwise I just feel so inauthentic.

Christmas plans are coming along. We made the tough call to not travel to my mom's this year. It's a 12-hour trip that would have to be sandwiched in between almost no time off for my husband. He's been working 3-6 24-hour shifts weekly since May of this year, and the poor guy is just wiped out. Between his own need for a restful break, and finances, staying home was the more reasonable choice for us. But the closer we get to Christmas the more sorry I am that we won't be seeing everyone. :( (boo hoo!)

I spent last evening wrapping gifts after the children went to bed. It is starting to look like we will have quite a large avalanche of gifts here. I guess with 8 people in our family that's kind of inevitable. The children are getting very excited, of course. Less than a week left of school days, too!

We still need to go to The Southern Lights at the Kentucky Horse Park. This magnificent drive-through Christmas light display has become one of our favorite family activities for December. After we drive through and see all the lights, we get to walk through the petting zoo, the model train exhibit, and see lots of other neat things there. Very fun!

We will also be going out to purchase ornaments for this year. Before we were even married, my husband and I decided that rather than just purchasing boxes of ornaments, we would just accumulate ornaments that had special meaning to us. So, on our first Christmas we got "Our First Christmas Together" type ornaments, plus "baby on the way" ones too. :) Since then, each year we get each child a special ornament that they like. We all look forward to this, and it makes decorating our tree really special. The kids love being reminded of what they picked in years past, and we remember trips we've taken (we buy ornaments or souvenirs that can be made into ornaments when we go places) and so on. it's really fun. Our tree is really getting full now, with so many kiddos. I can remember when we only had about 6 items on our tiny little 18" seedling tree. :)

The parties have begun. Two of my kiddos will be attending a party tonite, we have 3 different places for family members to be tomorrow night, and there is an open house for my husband and I to attend on Sunday. Monday night is my oldest son's band concert. Tuesday is school parties. :) I'm not ready!!

Good news--Big Love Season 2 is now out on DVD! I was delighted to get the first disc here on the day the series was released, and it was very fun to get to see what was happening since the big cliff-hanger from the end of Season 1.

Now I'm off to do grocery shopping and get ready for my busy evening. I think hot cocoa may be in our future as well....

1 comment:

Amie said...

I have very similar thoughts. I really appreciate your honesty in sharing yours. Frankly, I'm a little envious of others who have such a simple non-questioning faith. I used to feel guilty wondering about things like that, then I realized that God is GOD and no question is "too much".