Saturday, December 01, 2007

Random Update

So my blog has become sorely neglected. What can I say? My blog is mainly a tool for me. It's not a job or a responsibility. So, although it's nice that a few of you stop by every now and then to see if I'm written anything new, life tends to crowd out blogging these days.


Back in August I wrote about my feelings about a lost friendship. Within about a week of writing that post I got a letter from that lost friend. It wasn't a good letter, but it prompted a painfully honest and raw reply. Communication happened. Apologies were made. Miraculously, a restoration has taken place.

For several months now I've thought about posting something to let you know about this, since so many of you emailed me privately to tell me how sorry you were to hear about that loss. I've tried to form some deep, meaningful, profound post in my mind, and even sat down to write it a few times. It has never really flowed out of me in a way that seemed fitting for the depth of the experience. So, tonite you get this understated announcement to let you know that miraculous redemption is possible. (saying it that way seems almost ridiculous, except that I really did not think this could or would happen) It's a good thing.

A month ago I told you that I'd started taking cello lessons. Well, it was a short experiment. I decided not to continue. Driving 60 miles round trip for the lessons and worrying about a $1300+ instrument in a house full of kids turned out to be the straws that broke this camel's back. However, what I learned was that I still do love the cello, and that I will still be looking forward to finding the time in life when I can more comfortably and realistically pursue that.

I finally had my quiet retreat! I started planning it back in September, and it finally happened. I had 5 days of solitude here at home while my family went on a trip without me. I had really been looking forward to it. But, what I felt about it was different than I expected. I wouldn't call it a great experience. I wouldn't call it a bad experience. It was something that I felt (and still feel) mostly ambivalent about. I did enjoy the quiet (although not as much as I thought I would), and I did enjoy getting to do whatever I wanted to whenever I wanted to. However, I missed my kids more than I expected that I would. And I didn't want to do anything productive at all, so I didn't.

I think it was good for me to take the opportunity that I had to do this, both to satisfy my interest in what that would be like, as well as to let the rest of the family see that they can survive without me for a few days. :) But, I don't know that it was an experience I'll be craving to repeat for awhile. Just...kind of a quiet shoulder-shrug kind of a response to the whole thing. Which is surprising to me. :)

That's about the size of it. :)

1 comment:

GardenGoose said...

nice to read that your friend has gotten back in touch with you. hopefully the friendship will grow again.