Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Tight Spaces

We were recently on a road trip that takes us through tunnels under mountains during the journey. My kids love going through the tunnels, but for me, I do some extra deep breathing and keep looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. I do not like tight spaces, and find that my uncomfortableness with them seems to have increased in recent years.

Tonite I was thinking about some things and realized that there is a parallel between my discomfort with tight spaces and how I have been feeling lately: overwhelmed by the needs of others. Or, over-needed, perhaps.

Between the needs of the kids, the home, my husband, homeschooling, not homeschooling, learning disabilities, guidance of older teens growing into adulthood (and needing much more guidance than you might expect!), businesses and customers, my employment as a caregiver to a handicapped person, friends, and so on, it can feel like a lot. Although I consistently work to simplify, I also consistently work to do well at serving the ones I love and meeting the needs they have in good ways. But, when one is over-needed, there doesn't seem to be a way to get a break.

You could call it a tight space, I think.

This is one thing about life, marriage, motherhood, and all the rest that I find interesting: you cannot necessarily anticipate how long of a marathon you can run, or how well you can run it. You may start out slow or fast or medium speed, with varying levels of style, form, talent, and energy. But you don't know when you might get a hitch in your giddyup, shin splints, or come upon a road block or landslide. And then what? Nothing stops for you---you just have to figure out how to continue to carry on.

It doesn't really seem fair.

And then you realize that you're on this treadmill for life. Which doesn't help.

Thank God that we usually get a second (third, fourth....) wind. We sure do need 'em, don't we?

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