Wednesday, September 02, 2009

A Child's Grief and Loss

The other day we took a short drive through the cemetery, on the way to pick up my oldest. My 8 year old immediately started thinking of Gram.

"I wish Gram was dead HERE so we could go and see her."

I explained that although Gram is not buried near us, we would not be able to see her even if she was. I reminded him that Gram is in heaven now, with Jesus and God and her husband. We talked about how great it is that we have so many good memories of her, but he seemed unmoved from the pain of not being able to see her.

At home I immediately got the children gathered at the dinner table, but my 8 year old was a no-show. Thinking he was in the bathroom, I just called to him to say it was dinner time, and didn't worry about it. He'll be along soon.

Nope. He was on his bed, sobbing into his pillow.

When I found him there I gave him a hug and asked what was making him sad.

"It's all too much! Gram is dead and I will never get to see her again. And Ono and Oyeah* live far away and I have not gotten to see them for a long time either. Gram is dead and it is all too much!"


It was hard to see his pain. I was stricken to hear him describe it the way he did. One of my less verbal children, always fascinating me with the deep things he shares.

*Ono and Oyeah are what my kids call my mom and her husband.

1 comment:

Marilyn said...

Yes, it is certainly just too much! Missing one's loved ones is very painful! He is a precious,sweet, sensitive little boy with a wonderful heart! I wish he was here. We could wrap up in Grams's blue and white bathrobe and cry together.......