I am a follower of Jesus Christ, a 42 year old woman, a wife for 22 years, a homemaker, an internet entrepreneur, a home educator, an author, and a mother of 6.
I am an avid reader, a movie watcher, a lover of music, movement, and creativity.
I would rather talk with you than go to the mall. One of my core beliefs is People First: Before money, stuff, and selfishness.
I wrote this post several years ago, and now dig it out every year and re-post to share with people each summer.
We have an Easy Set pool at our house. It's a pretty big one, and we have floatation swim suits for our three youngest boys to wear, although we keep the pool shallow enough that all of them can walk around in it and still have their heads above water. Last year when I bought the suits the baby was one and the better quality suits did not come in his size, so I got a cheaper one, which he had continued to wear this year. The other day the kids were playing in the pool while my husband and I sat on the deck watching them and chatting. Our youngest, who is now 2, lost his footing in the pool and very quickly was floating face down in the water. Fortunately my husband saw it right away and got to him within just a few seconds, so everything turned out ok.
BUT
The problem is that this suit was not designed to flip a child over onto their back if they needed to rely on the floatation! Our baby was helpless, face down in the water. He would have actually been safer with no suit on at all, since he would have been able to stand to his feet after losing his footing.
It only takes a very few moments for a little one to drown. I am so thankful we were right there with our eyes on the pool happenings.
We tossed out that suit and today I went and bought him one of the better ones, that are designed to keep a kid floating on their backs. Here is the difference between the two suits:
The kind that flips a child onto their back has a float in the front of the suit that is longer than the one in the back.
The kind of suit that put my baby into the pool face first is a kind that is designed for children who need a floatie while learning to swim. The floats are all around the suit and are the same size all the way around.
Just thought someone else might appreciate the reminder. Go check and see if your little one's floatie suits will flip them to their backs in their moment of need.
My husband turned 40 on Sunday and I threw him a big bash, complete with DJ, lights, lots of guests, and tons of fun. Our theme was Dance Til Your Feet Go Numb, thanks to our love of Family Force 5's music. Here are a few photos from the evening:
Me (complete with hair that lost the battle with humidity) and my birthday man:
My husband and our daughter dancing together:
Several boys (the two kids on the outside aren't ours, the three in the middle are):
Our youngest, looking cool with his glow sticks. We had two talented photographers that caught some cool shots for us:
Sunday, May 09, 2010
I am seriously contemplating the potential merits of getting rid of half of our stuff. In most categories, I think it could be done....
Sometimes I have women that are older than me (maybe 50+) tell me that getting older is great because they spend so much less time worrying about what others think of them, and more time enjoying being themselves. Happily, I am already experiencing some of that. (I look forward to getting better at it)
I found out about this poem today and thought it went along with the sentiment and gave me a chuckle. I think it can apply across many people, not just passing lads. :)
Indian Summer
In youth, it was a way I had To do my best to please, And change, with every passing lad, To suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know, And do the things I do; And if you do not like me so, To hell, my love, with you!
The Help was a fabulous read and I highly recommend it.
We rec'd Settlers of Catan for Christmas and finally learned to play it a few weeks ago. We are having so much fun with this interesting game that has many layers of thinking and strategy involved. I love it that even my youngest kids are learning to play. I can't help but believe that they are learning some excellent strategic thinking skills.
My husband and I watched a few movies last week. Couples Retreat was fun and had a good pro-marriage, pro-staying together message. Precious was tough to watch, certainly not a feel-good movie, but also an inspirational story of a young woman who overcomes huge obstacles to have a better life for herself and her children. If you think you can handle the subject matter and you can appreciate the combination of tragedy and redemption, you might be glad you watched it. Amazing performances by the main actors in this film. We were in awe.
My oldest son got his driver's license. Although I think I do a very good job of helping my children grow onward and upward as is normal and healthy, this is a bit intimidating. Just knowing that one inadvertent bonehead move can result in serious consequences.....oy! It makes me shiver a bit. He'll do fine, though, and so will I. This is the first driver of six for me. Just think what a cool cucumber I will be when I am done with that. :)
Our season of Upward Basketball ended, and we were very thankful that we took time to have three of our boys participate. It was a wonderful experience, I would definitely recommend the organization, and we are looking forward to next basketball season.
There are so many good things going on in my life, but alas, most feel too precious to try to explain in blog entries. I'll just say that I am happier, more content, and more peaceful in most areas of my life than I have been for awhile.
I've been quiet here for a long time. I used to live my life and see opportunities for blog posts every day. I guess with the development of facebook, I now think more in terms of short updates. Plus, while I probably have just as much "material" in my life, I guess I feel like there is less I feel the desire to share. Since my grandmother died in July I think I have been more sad and blue and tired than usual, and there just isn't a whole lot about my outlook on life that seems like I need to tell it.
Much of how I feel these days is caught between what I want to be/think I should be as opposed to apparent reality. I do not know how to reconcile the two. I do not know if this is just a season that I should embrace and rest, in hopes that I'll later be better able to do more. I think I may have lost my ability to know how much is too much, how much is enough, what level of ease or turning away from additional things is necessary or ok.
The Haiti earthquake had me in tears and dilemma for weeks. I know there are orphans all over the place that need a family. I know that God wants orphans in families. (longtime readers will remember that this is something I've been thinking about a lot) My personality is such that the first question I ask is, "Why not me?" But as I live out my days, teetering somewhere between overwhelm and feeling like we're just getting to a stage that I've looked forward to for so long, I often say to myself that there is just No Way Possible that I could take on another child at this time. But of course, those are the bad days. I have good days too. Aren't I entitled to good days? As a Christian, as a concerned human, as a woman with a heart bigger than reality, am I entitled to peaceful days and a life that feels like it is moving in the right direction? Do I have to live on the ragged edge of high adventure, turmoil, challenges, saying yes, and MORE on my plate?
I often come back around to the thought that if everybody who could possibly do a little bit more to alleviate the suffering in this world would do it, that would be a whole lot of good stuff. And I do a lot of those good things now. At what point can I decide I'm at maximum capacity? If never, how do I balance that with my responsibility to my current family, or the absolute need to take care of myself? When I have weeks when I find it too difficult to reach out to ONE PERSON in my community that I had decided in my own mind to actively help on a weekly basis, I question my ability to do more. If the simpler things cannot happen, how could I do a much, much bigger thing on a forever basis?
I don't have any answers. (or, maybe I have several conflicting answers)
The thinking and guilty feelings and despair over not feeling like I can help the people I have the heart to help threaten to overwhelm me at times. I had to stop reading any stories about Haiti or looking at the pictures, because I just don't know how to live well in the midst of my weakness and deep concern.
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A gal from my church works at an orphanage in Haiti and we had already scheduled a big baby shower for the orphanage, months before the earthquake hit. Buying onesies and little ruffled pants and socks and baby food and little spoons made me cry in walmart. There is always a little voice in the back of my head asking me if I can do more. It's a good voice, except when it's not.
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It's not just orphans that get in my head. I have Shoulds all around me. Whether it be undone chores, curriculum items that I still haven't taken time to read, understand, and implement, half-started systems that I can barely remember why I thought I wanted to do them in the first place, piles of books on the shelf that someone, somewhere along the way told me I should read, but I don't have time or interest in.
Well, I decided to boot out as many Shoulds as possible. I purged the book pile of anything that did not jump out at me as something I wanted to read anytime soon, and listed all of it on paperback swap. Have been mailing them out daily ever since. Good riddance! I hope your new owner enjoys you. I will enjoy not feeling a little tiny bit of bad for not spending my time with you.
I parted with curriculum that had been waiting for my attention for a year and a half. Looks great, but obviously I am not going to get around to it anytime soon.
I delegated a bunch of school duties to my husband, who now has more time to partner up with me on the responsibilities of the homeschooling. Along with the delegation went the guilt that I was feeling for not being able to do everything. Buh-bye!
I am seriously considering dismantling my latest and greatest organization plan. Not that it wasn't a good idea. It was. I've just had trouble making the switch over to it, and what I was doing before was working just fine, really and truly. (one of those "If it ain't broke" lessons) Seems like retreating to the last known workable plan would make sense and alleviate my negative feelings every time I observe the mess that is my not-yet-fully-implemented-system.
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In happier news, we do have good things happening. I don't know if I've mentioned it here before, but back in August I took on a part time job working with an adult gal that is developmentally handicapped. I had two motivations for doing it, both of which were pure in heart despite the fact that I was unsure if I could handle adding it into my life and really didn't want to take it on for several reasons. As it turned out, it has been a blessing in so many ways that I had not anticipated. Relationships have benefited, I'm enjoying using my skills to help others, and financially it has helped a lot. We are now able to do things as a family that we always wanted to do but could not afford. Last week we were able to take our kids to Indiana for a really fun day of snow tubing. In a few weeks we're going to an indoor water park resort for two days. It's delightful to finally be able to say yes to so many things, especially since our oldest son is still home with us and still likes to hang out with us. We discussed the possibility of doing a fairly expensive vacation, but ended up choosing to spend the money on a series of "staycations" where we'll do lots of cool mini-vacations and outings near home. It's a big, big list. I hope we have time for it all. :)
Yesterday I found out about Regretsy. Oh. My. Word. Too funny for words. Go and laugh. (some graphic/adult content, so beware if the kiddies are around...)
Happy is the heart that still feels pain Darkness drains and light will come again Swing open your chest and let it in Just let the love, love, love begin
Today we are welcoming a new doggie into our life. Her name is Brandi. She was in need of a home, and after having Marlee, we are more aware of the needs of animals and are wanting to share our life with them. The kids are especially excited. (though I think my husband and I are pretty excited about her as well) Isn't she beautiful?
Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely and the unwanted according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work.... if you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one...
Remember the times when I said that one of the things I think I'll miss when my kids grow up is their notes? Yeah, well, tonite I found this doozie laying on the laundry room floor. I am not sure if Jacob was the recipient, or if he was signing it. "Thanks a lot. Jerk!" I guess we've all been there a time or two... (notice the crying little guy...my heart! poor kid.)
This is my sixth year doing an end-of-the-year meme here!
1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Took on the exciting challenge of homeschooling all six of my children.
Got an exercise partner and got going with a regular workout plan that is working great 7 months later!
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Yes I did, and yes I will.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Friends from church just had twins last week! Other friends at church had their second child.
4. Did anyone close to you die? My Gram died in July. It still hurts. She was awesome.
Our rescue dog Marlee died two weeks ago. Knowing and loving Marlee has changed me forever.
5. What countries did you visit? None, as usual.
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? Brain space.
7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Last year's meme mentioned something really difficult that our family was experiencing. The day that was resolved for us (which took all the way until June) was important.
I traveled to visit my Gram in May, taking a special trip there because we knew she was declining in her health. I knew it would be the last time I saw her. It was a good visit. I'm glad I went.
Seeing our dog Marlee through to the end of her life is something I will remember forever.
My brother and his girlfriend, my sister, and my mom and her husband all came here to spend some days with us after Christmas, and it was great to spend that time with them.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Surviving and thriving through some really tough stuff. And embracing homeschooling all six kids. And losing 30 pounds!
9. What was your biggest failure? I've had too many blessings to recall any failures.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Not that I remember.
11. What was the best thing you bought? The best thing I "bought" was No Regrets, by following my heart on many things, from the travels I took to spend time with much-loved family members, to the way we continued to care for our sweet dog until she died. Peace of mind and soul is a very valuable thing to possess.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? (same answer as last year) Mine! Saying yes to homeschooling, and being fiercely committed to what I feel is the right thing for my kids, even when difficult, is something I celebrate.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and disgusted? Thankfully I cannot think of who that would be.
14. Where did most of your money go? Living!
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? My oldest son choosing to be homeschooled again, and the way he is loving it. I am so blessed to be surrounded by my fabulous kids every day!
16. What song will always remind you of 2009? The first is a good one from the radio, and the FF5 is a fun memory from when I went to Ichthus with my teenagers in June!
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? definitely happier b) thinner or fatter? 30 pounds thinner! c) richer or poorer? richer!
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? I don't know if I wish I had, but it would have been nice to rest more and read more. For some crazy reason I don't have much time for those items....
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? I could say crying, except the amount of crying I did is only because of how deeply I love. And I wouldn't want to change that.
20. How will you be spending New Year's Eve? Going to a dear friend's birthday party, and then playing games with the kids, and then hanging out with my hubby. :)
21. Did you fall in love in 2009? I'm always in love.
22. What was your favorite TV program? Deadliest Catch, Castle, Survivor
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I don't do hate.
24. What was the best book you read? Stretching Lessons by Sue Bender. Wonderful!
25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Family Force 5 (discovered at Ichthus)
26. What did you want and get? A wide flat screen computer monitor. (thanks honey!) Now I can see two browser windows at once!
Also, help cleaning my house. Yay! A longtime dream of mine that last year I wrote about as a thing I wanted but did not get. This year I decided to get the help when I could afford it, and it has been absolutely lovely. In 2010 I hope to get even more help. I sure could use it!
27. What did you want and not get? Can't think of anything.
28. What was your favorite film of this year? The Proposal
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 38 this year, and I didn't have a cake because I had stopped eating sugar a month before. :) 38 has been sweet nonetheless.
30.What one thing would have made your year measurably more satisfying? Spending more time with my extended family.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? Improving!
32. What kept you sane? Remembering the reasons why I have chosen the path I'm on.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Can't think of any fancies...
34. What political issue stirred you the most? Politics doesn't stir me much.
35. Who did you miss? My Gram. I miss her every day, but thankfully have a zillion excellent memories to reflect on.
36. Who was the best new person you met? Right now I can't think of a totally new person, but there are several people in my life that have been wonderful to get to know better.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. This wasn't a new lesson, but am important one to be reminded of: Make decisions based on your solid beliefs, and live them out in the best way you know how. You will be blessed.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. From Michael Franti: "I love you! I love you! I love you!"
Today in church we sang Oh Holy Night. The third verse says:
Truly He taught us to love one another, His law is love and His gospel is peace. Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother. And in his name all oppression shall cease. Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we, With all our hearts we praise His holy name. Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we, His power and glory ever more proclaim! His power and glory ever more proclaim!
I had so many thoughts going through my head:
He taught us to love one another: How many of us hold back our love for others? I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to give love to our dog Marlee as well as the people in my life. I learned a lot from that experience and will always be thankful for the opportunity she gave me, and the time we shared together. Sometimes people treat their love like a commodity that might run out if they spread it around too much. I think giving love away helps us have more love. If you don't believe me, how about if you try it and get back to me?
The law of love and gospel of peace: How simple. And simply beautiful. I wish more of us could let the law of love guide us, and that we would all choose peace any time it can be possible. What would our decisions look like if we let the law of love guide us?
The slave is our brother. In His name all oppression shall cease:
I thought of the precious, innocent little children used a human slaves for sick perverts, and organizations like gozoe.org that serve and save these children. It's amazing how small an amount of money you can give that will literally save a child's life.
People living as immigrants in foreign lands, far from their families, suffering, struggling, at the mercy of others who take advantage of them, with little or no hope of return.
I also thought of the 20 families represented that came to the food pantry last Thursday, and how sad it made me to see so many people in such need.
God, help me find ways and strength to reach out and be a source of comfort and assistance to others!
One of the things I've been learning about and growing in is being more aware of how I'm feeling, and not being afraid to make decisions that feel right for me, instead of constantly putting myself second to other people and issues.
Today I got on a roll with tackling some household projects that needed to get done. It was one of those elusive days when I had the energy and focus to really make headway on something. As the day went on, several emotional issues came up. By this evening, I feel tired and sad. I was supposed to go to our church Christmas party tonite. It would mean that I had to stop the thing I was enjoying making progress on, to make dinner, clean up the kitchen, straighten my hair (a lengthy process), and find something festive to wear (not too easy for me--owner of the USA's smallest female wardrobe).
While I was rotating some laundry before getting ready, my husband came along and noticed that I looked out of sorts. "What's wrong?" "I don't want to go! I'm comfy in the clothes I'm wearing, I'm making progress on my project, and I don't care about the party. I'm sad and tired and just want to take care of myself."
"So don't go."
How simple. (I was already thinking that, but did not expect him to be so supportive of it.)
I already had a babysitter lined up. What were my options? Greet her at the door with a check for what I would have paid her had I gone? Could there be something else?
I decided to let her stay and play with the kids while I do whatever I feel like doing. She'll probably go home earlier than expected, but I'll pay her the full amount.
A win-win situation, in my mind. And it feels good to be able to say no to something I wanted to say no to, and not have to work myself up to some social obligation that I've built up in my mind.
*It's been several hours since I wrote the above thoughts. Right now I'm intrigued by how difficult it is for me to take good care of myself, even in the midst of trying to be mindful and purposeful about it. I overdid it on the project, and now my back is hurting. For some reason, even though what I mostly wanted to do was lay down and read a nourishing book, I watched most of a boring documentary before finally telling myself to stop it and go get that book. It's weird, really, how much within me (maybe what I'm conditioned to do?) fights against simply saying yes to what I'd like the most.
My 17 year old son told me about TOMS shoes. For every pair you buy, 1 pair is given to a child in need. What a beautiful thing. He asked for a pair of TOMS for Christmas. You betcha!
I just love candles (who doesn't?!) and when I can find ones that are handmade by a mom, I like 'em all the better.
The Melting Pot Candle Company is owned and operated by Natasha, a 31 year old wife and mother of 3 (plus one on the way!). She was kind enough to send me some sample products to check out, including bath salts, mini melts, a tart warmer, a soap sample, and some little tea light candles. PLUS She's offering a giveaway..be sure to read all the way to the bottom of this post for details! The mini melts are really cute, some even having sprinkles on them to make them more festive, and the scents are really nice and yummy. :) I'm looking forward to giving some of these great items as gifts for Christmas. The prices are bargains--you can really get a lot for your dollar, and put together a beautiful, useful, as well as economical gift here.
Natasha shares about how she got started in her business: I started making soy and palm tarts because my favorite tart maker decided to no longer sell her products. I was on a mission to make the best tarts for the best price. I love making homes smell great and people happy.
What inspires you? My customers inspire me! I get a lot of feedback from my items and I am grateful for each and every one of my customers. I try my best to make sure each and every order to every person is perfect. I get a lot of joy trying new things and sending them as freebies or having particular customers try new products. I appreciate their thoughts and take them all very seriously.
What are some of your favorite items in your shop? Some of my favorite items are my new ones! I love handmade soap. With the economy getting tighter and pressing on my own wallet I could no longer afford to buy from other WAHM's so I created my own and offer them at the lowest possible prices. Some of my favorite scents are Oatmeal Milk and Honey, Wild Mountain Honey, Pink Sugar, Cotton Candy and Sweet Orange and Chili Pepper!
One of my favorite things about The Melting Pot Candle Company is their Random Act of Kindness program. If you know somebody who needs a "pick me up" or deserves a little special something, you can send in your story about them. Once a month someone is chosen to get a special goodie package from The Melting Pot for FREE! How sweet is THAT?! This sort of thoughtfulness and heart is the kind of thing that makes me LOVE supporting mom-owned businesses.... Heart! You can read more about that here.
As I looked through the Melting Pot site I saw over and over again the sort of thoughtfulness and heart that goes into this business. From conscientious shipping policies, and being mindful of pricing and speedy service, I am impressed and pleased to recommend The Melting Pot Candle Company to you. :)
GIVEAWAY:
Natasha is offering one lucky winner a candle burner, tea lights, and 5 tarts of their choice of wax (soy or palm) and scent! (photo below shows details)
To enter:
1. Visit The Melting Pot Candle Company and look around. Come back here and leave a comment, letting me know which 5 scents you'd want to win! Be sure that your email address is included so that I can contact you if you win.
2. To get an extra entry, join their facebook fan page by clicking here. Leave a comment letting me know that you joined and your name as it appears on the fan list.
3. To get another entry, blog about The Melting Pot Candle Company. Leave a comment letting me know you did this, with a link to your post.
1 winner will be randomly chosen on Saturday, December 12.
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