Swirling Around in My Noggin

Today has been a bit of a melancholy day. I guess I might be able to blame my gloomy thoughts, fears, and sadness on PMS, though it doesn't really help to do so.

Fears about the children and how will we get this, that, and the other done for them for school.

My new 18 year old got a speeding ticket that is going to cost him a pretty penny, and other consequences from it will be following him for awhile in the form of increased car insurance, and possibly a change in his license status. I really am ok with him dealing with the natural consequences of his actions, but now we also have to consider whether or not he should be losing some driving privileges as well. He just had a fender bender a couple weeks ago as well, so this is not sitting well for my husband and I. (sigh)

I realized that three of my little guys have to go for dental work tomorrow. I hate dental work! (for all of us) I have concerns about the Novocaine, the laughing gas, and most every other aspect of the process. (sigh) It is going to take several hours to get the three of them through their processes, and my husband has volunteered to take them. Which is wonderful of him, and I certainly have plenty to do here, so it's practical. but....I can't help but feel kind of like a cruddy mom to not accompany them. As one of my other kids once told me about this issue, "Moms are more comforting." (while tears welled up in his eyes...) So, side dish a Guilt, please! (the ones that are going tomorrow have not asked if I am going yet, so my guilt is purely self-inflicted at this point)

Had some financial anxiety today, which is interesting because it wasn't based in reality. I think I have spent so many years of my life in some level of financial anxiety (like, 38 of them...) that even now that we have a much better financial situation and are not needing to worry about juggling and suffering with our money, I still have moments of panic and fear that somehow we are going to run out of money and I will have to go back to the way things used to be. I knew it stunk while I was going through it, but at least I was used to it. With some space, and my unique form of financial PTSD, I see that it was more damaging than I realized. Don't. Wanna. Go. Back.
Ever.

The house was a mess. Seemed like everywhere I turned I was faced with a zillion undone things, and chore areas that have not been well-done by children of any age. With 8 able-bodied citizens living here, I think it is reasonable that this house should be kept up better than it is. The trick is in the enforcement, which can be it's own career because of the time and dedication required. I busted around dealing with some of the issues that had been nagging at me and felt some better. I made lists for all the kids to accomplish while I was at work. They did fairly well and things are looking much nicer this evening.

I fell into reading some heavy stuff that got into my head and just contributed to making me sad. It was one of those can't-look-away experiences, even though I could tell that it was getting me down. Eventually I did get away, but then within a day or two seemed to be faced with a few other contentious groups/web sites that also bummed me out. Clicked them off and walked away today. Life's too short to deal with other people's toxicity.

Speaking of toxic, I have at least one toxic person left that I am going to have to deal with. I have set it on the back burner for now, but it is still there, bringing weight. Don't like that. don't know how to escape it. (or like the bear hunt song: Can't go around it, can't go under it, can't go above it, gotta go through it!)

Have been feeling discouraged about my weight. I lost that 30 pounds last year. This year I have probably gained back 5. or so.... Yes, I know how I lost the weight. Careful diet and consistent exercise. I also know that for the most part, it is mighty hard for me to live that way all the time. I have so many responsibilities, and then there are my human frailties....I do not know how I can realistically fit in trips to the gym, or early morning walks, when I have homeschooling taking up the lion's share of every day, work, and of course, everything else. I can see that I am losing some ground on my weight, and I do not want to go back any farther, but I also do not want my schedule to be more slammed than it already is. I understand now why people try so many weight loss tricks and pills--we are all too darn tired and busy to lose weight the honest way!

3 kids needing braces. 3 Pets needing to go to the vet. 3 people needing glasses. New sheets needed(current ones are finally beyond threadbare). Organizing art classes. Coorindating homeschool activities for my kids so they are happy, or at least less unhappy, as the case may be. Getting a ballroom dance class series going in my town. Oh yeah--somewhere in here I supposedly run a business or two. Fill the minds of my offspring with great and mighty things. Learn how to get the most out of my new iphone. Things I want to help people with or told them I would help with but then ran out of steam.

So much stuff! Some days I feel like just saying no to everything beyond home and school and work, and just try to re-spin those plates really well. but, you know, time stops for no woman....if it did we would all buy that app!

Overheard

My younger boys are playing. I just heard:

"Feel my wrath!"

"No. YOU feel MY wrath!"

It's pretty darn fun to have kids in the house.

No, it doesn't get easier

Lies!
They tell you lies, I say!

All of the people who look at you sweetly when you are hip-deep in babies and toddlers and preschoolers and they say, "It'll get easier, honey. Don't worry."

Well, I beg to differ.

Yes, it's true: you won't always be wiping noses and bottoms and cleaning up duplo blocks and spilled milk.

But what are you trading it in for? Pre-teens and teens with:

Attitudes.

Broken hearts, both romantic and by friends that didn't turn out to be very good friends after all.

Body odor and poor personal hygiene.

Eye rolling.

Hormones.

Lots of emotions out of control: happy, sad, tortured, frustrated, angry.

Learning to drive. And the letting them drive. And then the inevitable fender benders. (I hope a fender bender is the worst you ever deal with.)

Whether or not they accept or reject what you have taught them.

Helping them make big decisions, and hoping that you have earned enough influence with them to have your guidance matter to them.

Eventually they will be making their decisions without you, and you can no longer protect and guide them. You're a captive audience to whatever goes down, good or bad.

And then shake all of this up with 2 or 3 or 4 teenagers or preteens, and you've got a perfect storm, my friends. A hot mess some days. Yep.

(Did I mention that kids get a whole lot more expensive as they get older? Well, they do that too.)

It's true that eventually you will be able to walk out the door by yourself and leave the kids home to make their own dinner and entertain themselves for the evening.

It's true that eventually you will be able to sleep in without all hell breaking loose around the house.

It's true that it won't always be like it is when they are little.

Eventually, it will get harder.

(*I guess I will have to admit that even though the stakes are much, much higher with my teens and pre-teens, I still enjoy them. In some ways the baby days *were* indeed harder. Physically it was harder for sure. But some days when I am navigating the Big Issues of life with my older kids, I think that making a little sandwich, taking a little nap, and playing with the train set would be a whole lot easier than what's going on in real time. It's all good, but it ain't easy. But then, nothing worth having ever is.)

Mine!

I have been wishing for a cute bread box for awhile, and yesterday I found this lovely vintage one on etsy. I waited for the rest of the evening and then overnight to decide if I would buy it. I decided that it was one of those items that I would be sorry to have passed by, so now it has been purchased and I will be thinking about where it will go. Will I use it for bread? Maybe.....maybe not.

I love Alice.com and so will you!

Alice.com is a fabulous place for you to bypass a whole lot of your grocery shopping, without paying more! In fact, Alice's prices are comparable to Walmart prices, they add in coupons, and they ship all of your stuff to you for FREE! And it's fast. Like, within a day or two, depending on where you live.

Alice.com has toilet paper, feminine products, cleaning products, snacks and cereal, toiletries, pet food, office supplies, stamps, and just a ton of other stuff that you are buying every time you walk through your regular store. (not weird off-brands, either. The real brands you already buy!) The difference: less stuff to shlepp through the checkout, into your car, and into the house with the kids in tow!

I have been using Alice since fall of 2009 and I love love LOVE it. I recommend it to everybody! Right now you can get $10 off your first purchase of at least $50 when you clickety-click above to sign up. How cool is that?

There is Nothing Wrong With You (or Me!)

I am sorry to say that probably every single day in recent history I have gone to bed saying something along the lines of, "I suck at life." I have felt like a failure in many areas, even though I could also make a very long list of excellent, well-done, important, caring, compassionate things I have done. why is it that we treat ourselves so poorly? I would never treat someone else with as little regard as I sometimes treat myself. (sigh)

Yesterday my husband hugged me and told me I was perfect, which I found ironic considering that if anyone knows my many faults, it's him. After 19 years he has pretty much seen it all.

I came across this video today and just loved it. (if you double click on the video you can watch it in it's full, wide-screen glory, which will be better than having it cut off at the side like it may do for you here on this page) Very encouraging. And I purchased a piece of her art which I am looking forward to displaying in my home. Inspirational!



Here is a photo of the art I bought:



It reminded me of me and my daughter, but felt like an important reminder in several ways. I already know where I want to put it. (I think....)

Every once in awhile...

it's appropriate to grieve for things that are not as they should be:
People that are broken.
Heartbreaks and disappointments.
Losses.
Brokenness.
Unanswerable questions and unfixable problems.

Yes, I have a lot to be thankful for, and I am. But today, some time is being taken to be sad for a little while. I think that's reasonable.

Toxic

I had two sad reminders this week of the deep toxicity of a person in my life. It is deeply sad to me when a person will choose anger, revenge, and bitterness over anything positive. I do not understand it. Watching this is like watching a person choose death for themselves over and over again.

Loved this....

" Never be in a hurry;
do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.
Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset"

~St Francis de Sales

Q&A

Today I had this question in my inbox about the post about teens. I thought I would share my answer here:

Hello Erica,

You said: "he is very loving with us and the other children..."

I was wondering if you had any wisdom or tips related to this statement. Our oldest is 13b, and while he is loving at times, he is almost downright mean at others. I don't know what I might do differently to cause (all of them, actually) to be more loving toward each other.

Thanks for any tips you can offer.

Emily

Hi Emily,
First of all I would say that when he was 13 he was *not* loving toward the other children. He had quite a few years (probably from about 12-15) that we refer to as his "sullen years." He was grouchy, wanted everybody to stay out of his stuff, and kept to himself a lot. I now have a 14 year old daughter kind of in that mode, and a 12 year old son who seems to be headed toward it. So, I just want to let you know that, since it would be easy for some people to assume that my kids are all so loving and always have been. :) We have some junky attitudes here from time to time, for sure.

I'm not really sure what I can attribute his loving attitude toward, but I will give some guesses. We have tried to maintain our love and affection for him consistently, even when he has not been all that friendly. I have never lost track of the fact that he is still the same boy that we loved so deeply when he was a baby and all through growing up. We are crazy about our kids! :) We are very accepting of him and transparent with him. I think that since we are respectful of his growing independence and that we are supportive and excited for him (rather than nervous, suspicious, or trying to hold him back) he is a very comfortable person who has no "gripes" against anybody, us included. In the areas where there are differences in beliefs or whatever, we are very loving while also open (in times when it gets discussed) about the reasons we have decided to live or believe as we do, but we do nothing to get him defensive or cause any walls to be built up between us. Basically, there is nothing for him to fight against. Not that we let him have everything he wants or that there are no boundaries, just that we have an ability to be both friendly, open, honest, and firm when needed that seems to stir up together to make good things happen :)

As far as it goes with his siblings, from the sullen years the youngest kids were actually kind of scared of him and there was a real separation there. In recent years when he has been happier I have encouraged him at times to remember how much it means to be a young kid and have an older kid take an interest in them, etc. He tries to be pretty encouraging to them, tell them that he thinks their latest Lego creation is really cool, etc. :) I encourage the younger kids to go show him stuff that I know he will be able to appreciate. I guess I just do a little bit of stirring the pot to encourage everybody toward each other.

Also, around the sullen years beginning we had a lot of chaos in our home with 3 little ones born in less than 3 years, and many things were out of control. Things are a lot better now and I think that it is more enjoyable for all of us, including the older kids. We do a lot of outings together, go fun places, etc. and our oldest is still happy to go along and is content to hang out with us during those times. (He is also very social and spends a lot of time out and about with his friends, taking classes, working, etc. so it is a good balance for him although we often miss him some since he is spending more and more time away from home, which is normal but still an adjustment for all of us.)

We have gone through some hard things together and he has seen that we will stick together and do whatever needs to be done to help one another, and I think that has been a powerful glue in our relationship as well.

Overall, we're a very open, affectionate, accepting family, and I think that our kids are generally like that, according to their personalities, of course. They say more is caught than taught, so I hope that is true with our other children. I do have many days when I am amazed at the mean words, selfishness, and anger that will come out between them since I feel like they have a lot of consistent examples of generosity, forgiveness, happy attitudes, etc. It can be discouraging and I do feel concerned about it sometimes. I keep plugging away and hope that our children will turn out to be a credit to God and all of us as they grow, but sometimes I think it is more in spite of us than because of us if they do. :)

I hope this helps!
~Erica

How to treat older teens

Recently on one of my egroups a woman wrote in asking for advice on how to treat her 17 year old son. She was unsure how much to direct him about how he was eating, how much time he spent on the computer, his "standards" which she considered to be "lower" than hers, etc. This is part of what I wrote in response:


I have a son that is turning 18 next month. He is our oldest, so this is my first go-around with an older teen, however I can tell you that it is a fun time in our lives and we are doing great.
For us, we believe that we are raising these people to become adults. As they get older, an increasing amount of responsibility and personal choices need to become their job, until eventually they are taking full responsibility for their decisions and life choices which seems to me should be somewhere between 18-20 or so.

A wonderful resources that I highly recommend to all parents every chance I get is a DVD and book series called Parental Guidance Required. You can check it out and buy it here. This site also has $1 downloads of the MP3 sessions of this class. We did this study with some friends from church quite a few years ago. It is an excellent resource for talking about key elements of setting your relationship with you middle year children up for an ongoing good relationship as the children grow into older teens and young adults. It talks about the importance of "dialing in" and "dialing out" the right or wrong kind of people in your child's life, the importance of other trusted adults to be a part of your child's life who will be a friend to your child who will also continue to point them in the right direction, and the importance of the quality of your relationship with your child for the long haul when we have no more control but we can still have the ever-crucial opportunity to influence our child--which is something they will either willingly let us do or they won't. (it's not something you can require) Anyhow, wonderful information and encouragement for all parents. Please get it!

Certainly a child's maturity level, choices they have made, etc. should have a bearing on what parents choose to still try to work on with the child and what they back off about. I know that some parents seem to fear that if their child ever does anything that they do not want them to do (music choices, hair or clothing styles, etc.) that all is lost and the kid is ruined. For us, we believe that it is normal for each person to have to figure out for himself what they believe and how they will live. In our family, these are not deal breakers and I am not going to allow these things to damage my relationship with my child. I am passionate about my children and I will continue to be, regardless of the stages they go through. I always strive to try to be open, to listen, and to understand where my 17 year old son is coming from. We have had talks sometimes when he shares a music choice with me, and sometimes I have listened and said to him, "This sounds so negative to me. Tell me what you like about it. I don't understand." Since I am coming at this with real love and an open attitude where I really do want to hear what he has to say, and I'm not just trying to turn it into a chance to tell him to listen to something else, it is a fruitful conversation, and he is willing to let me have some influence on his thinking. Does this mean that he changes everything to what I think? Nope! And that's ok. He has to stand on his own and will continue to. I should not be micromanaging him and will not even try.

As far as things like junk food, you know, if you do not have these things in the house they will not get them from you, and then you save yourself the trouble of feeling that you have to police it. :) I have tried to set up our home over the years to be what I call an all-you-can- eat-buffet of good things both for food, as well as educationally, etc. What I mean by this is that basically there are no bad choices. Food-wise, there is no (or very little) junk food, but we have plenty of good fruits and veggies and whole grain breads, etc. to choose from. Now, my son does eat some junk when he's gone from the house, and that's his business. (esp. since he pays for it himself) Largely, over time, he has come to realize that he does not like to eat junk food and that he does not feel well after eating or drinking certain things, so now he chooses to eat pretty healthfully on his own and even influences his friends to eat healthier. This is exactly the thing I had hoped for--he has made his choice, seen the evidence in his own life--and does not need me to tell him what to eat when he's on his own. As far as things to do at our house, we have no TV but we have books, games, a pool, a very fun back yard with lots of things to do, Legos, computers with good filters set on them to make them safe to use, pets to play with, art and craft supplies, music, musical instruments, dress up stuff, etc. I guess the one "junk food" thing we have is a game system, which they are only allowed to use on Saturdays. (and most of the time they forget about it) So, even in their spare time my kids only have choices that are good ones. I don't have to spend my time fretting about what they are doing, so I set up the environment to be as good for them and easy for me as possible. That translates over to the teens as well.

I used to have a friend who complained about how her teens were spending all of their time "plugged in" to electronics and she did not know what to do about it. She was struggling to try to set up schedules and enforce them to try to make the kids do other things. Well, you know what? She and her husband had created an environment at their house where being plugged in was the only stuff for their teens to do. Although she had started out with no TV, lots of books and puzzles, etc. when he kids were little, by the time the kids were older they had one computer per person (or something very close to it), all the kids had cell phones with unlimited texting, they had satellite tv, they all had ipods that they used and further isolated them from the rest of the world, game systems with no limits, there was nothing to do in their yard, some of the kids had no interesting outside-of-the- home activities or friends, etc. Basically, they had created a situation where computer/music/tv/gaming was the only stuff to do at their house, and they were not willing to change any of that. So, you know, the kids are going to respond to the environment you create and nurture.

I do think that it is harder to pull back from stuff than to just set things up the way you want them from the get-go, but it is possible to make changes if you are strong and wise.

Getting back to some other thoughts I have about older teens: Respect is important. There are many ways to choose to live, many ways to apply Biblical concepts, and many things that are not issues that should be allowed to damage a relationship. Realizing that our children are growing up to be people who will (and should) make their own choices is worth your respect. I can tell you as a person with people in my life that do not respect other people's choices that are different from their own, it damages relationships when you do not have respect from others. And even if you don't say it, people can feel it. Fer shur. So, to me, starting at 14, 15, 16, 17 to back off of peripheral issues and respect that your child is learning to make choices is the right way to go. Save your panic button moments for stuff that really, really matters a lot. :) If you panic too often they just think you're getting crazy and you can lose your ability to influence.

In the end as our children become adults, aside from what they have accepted from what we have already taught them, influence is the only hope we have of being able to help our children. (aside from prayer, of course) They will either welcome our influence or resist it. I know which side I want to be on, so I use a fair amount of strategy into my parenting to try to position myself to where I want to be.

Obviously, this is all still a work in progress. I can tell you, though, that we have a very enjoyable relationship with our 17 year old, that our son is doing great at making decisions and learning from the choices he makes, he is very loving with us and the other children, and we continue to look forward to what is to come with him and our other kids. I believe very strongly that the investments we make in tying heartstrings and building trust and happy relationships with our kids from the time they are born has a great bearing on how things go later on in their lives.

Answers and Provision

Good day today. Had a fabulous and encouraging interview time with the gal about helping us homeschool, and we decided to hire her. I'm SO looking forward to having her start.

Interestingly, this is an item that I have been dreaming of, but had not pursued it because I thought it was out of reach financially. I used to feel that same way about house cleaning, and a couple years ago I decided to stop wishing for help, and instead just see if I could hire help even for a couple hours a week. As it turned out, I was able to, and I was able to get great help who also needed my help in the form of a job, so it was wonderful.

Last week I decided to put some feelers out on facebook just to see if anybody promising would turn up for the dream helpers I would like to have. Bingo! I found this wonderful gal at a price much lower than I expected, and as it turns out, I'm even going to be able to afford to hire her for just about the exact amount of time I was thinking I wanted someone. Awesome!

Later in the day I went to help my friend with cancer. That went well, and now he wants to hire me to help him some more.

And a friend recommended me for a very short term (3-5 day) job helping someone. Between both the diet help for my friend and this short job, it will definitely bridge the gap in being able to pay for our new homeschool tutor. Thank you God!

It has been a good day but now I am tired. Off to bed I go. Goodnight.

Raining and Pouring

Sometimes life seems to hand us themed groupings of situations. Right now mine is that there seems to be an invisible sign around me telling people that I can solve their problems and make their life better. Although I learned long ago that just because I would be good at something doesn't mean I *should*.....I find myself in a conflict between the realities of my time and energy and how I feel I can best spend those, and people who need my help that I care about.

First, an old friend contacted me. She is an artist, and I have been encouraging her to market her art and her teaching skills since 1998. Today she has a new studio space rented and is ready to begin. She has asked for my help, and offered a potentially generous compensation plan for my help. I have the skills to help her. I honestly don't know anybody else anywhere around here that does. It will be fun and rewarding to help her achieve her dreams and see her share her many talents with others.

Another friend is sick with cancer. Doctors have given him no hope, so he is now working with a holistic doctor to see what can be done. A large part of the treatment hinges on a radical diet change. For whatever reason, the information the doctor and his team have given this guy is extremely non-user-friendly. He and his wife are overwhelmed and do not know how to make this food or eat this way. And who does? Me, that's who. And truly, I don't know anyone else to recommend. (if I could, I would like to hire them to come make healthy food at my house!!). So, now I'm going to be helping them learn how to shop, cook, and otherwise prepare healthy foods that will hopefully nourish his body and help him beat cancer, and live long and prosper.

I mean....how could I say no to that?

(meanwhile, I am also thinking that I should re-write their diet plan to make it user-friendly and include recipes and sample menus. Yes! A great idea, to do in the spare time that does not exist. I wonder how much money they might pay me to get it done.)

As my outside-the-home responsibilities have increased, I have wondered more and more about hiring help to compensate for some of the things in-house that we need help with. I am actually interviewing someone tomorrow that might come and help me with homeschooling. It could (let the record show that I said *could*....because it is also possible that it could be a big pain in the rear and make me decide to go back to trying to do everything myself) be lovely to have help. At the rate I'm going, I may need a whole army of help to compensate for all the things I cannot do myself while I work part time and try to save the world, or at least help out a few people around me.

I'm conflicted. When life starts handing me projects that I've always (or for a long time, anyhow) wanted to do, on topics that are of great interest to me, and to help people that I care deeply about....it seems like I should sit up and take notice, and at least be open to what's trying to happen here. Right?

The part that scares me is the part I cannot see. How will I fit it all in? What things do I need to let go of? (I have already decided to quit the food pantry work in August) How will I do the very important work of tending to and nurturing my own family and home if more of my time is diverted to other projects?

It is possible that for a time I might find these projects energizing and be more efficient than I have been in a year. So far that is part of what I'm experiencing. The other part wonders how long I can maintain a faster pace.

Part of me would enjoy meetings and brainstorming and watching projects launch and come to completion, and encouraging and teaching and making a tangible difference in the life of an otherwise dying friend. Zoom! zoom!

And part of me would like to stay home in pajama pants and read Sir Fartsalot to my kids, and be the poolside lifeguard for them every morning and evening all summer long, and take naps with my husband on the days when he is home from work, and other warm, cozy, domestic, familial things.

I am under no illusions that the time spent and effort invested in my children is less valuable than anything else I could do. There's just some stuff that is bigger than the average possibility, and right now I've got two of 'em hot-n-fresh on my plate.

The one thing I have going for me in this is that my husband feels like it was right for me to say yes to both of these things, and he's normally very helpful with his perspective about how much is too much and helping me see when I may be getting in over my head. These two new things are important to us both, so somehow we are going to fold them into life and see what happens. It gives me comfort that I'm probably not crazy if he is also feeling like moving ahead, and I always like to share half the blame with my husband if later we decide we made a mistake. ;)

As is so often true with blogging, though readers often forget: there are more details to all of this than I am taking the time to write. There are ways that these new things may be leading to answer other questions and open other doors. I don't have the time or energy to get into all of that tonite. For now, I'm excited, I had a fun business meeting today, and I am looking toward tomorrow that is filled-to-the-brim with interviews, teaching, and my part-time job as a caregiver to a mentally handicapped gal. I won't be getting very much time with my children tomorrow, which I am not happy about, but they may end up with a fun day with grandparents, so that is a positive in the midst of busy-ness.

Clearly, I'm a bit mixed up in my feelings about all of this, and should proceed on to bed. It will be interesting to see where all of this leads, and how things resolve. I am trusting that as I walk along things will become more clear.

Entitlement vs. Gratitutde

I read something that stuck in my craw, as it were. A woman who has MUCH to be thankful for right now (stuff far beyond a roof over her head and clothes on her back) was instead angry because her family did not have the money available to go on a vacation this summer. Although I understand that everyone struggles with junky thinking from time to time, I find this sort of thing really frustrating.

I remember back when my husband and I were first married. I was friends with a woman who was about ten years older than myself. She complained about our small town and lack of cultural activities (though we were only a half hour from a city that did have these things), about her home that she considered too small and modest (although it was perfectly fine, she had nice furnishings, and more than met their needs), and about her husband's income that did not provide for nice vacations each year. Even as a 20 year old I could see how much gratitude was missing from her mindset.

I once knew a homeschool mom who acted like she lived in an unfortunate shack. They had a premature baby and I volunteered to go over and help her one day. I was amazed to arrive at her house and see how really, really, REALLY nice it was, how lovely all of the furniture was, etc. It made me kind of amazed and horrified about how much she had complained publicly about her home.

I always feel a little sorry for husbands of unthankful women. Most of them seem to be hard working and gainfully employed with at least one job, if not more, and here they are with a wife who values a bigger house, newer furniture, vacations, high maintenance hair and nails, or whatever else, more than she values building up her husband and family and cultivating an attitude of gratitude. A person like this usually has no end to what they want and what they feel they deserve. If her husband provides a vacation, next year she'll want to go away for longer, to a more exciting destination. If she goes to the spa for her birthday, next she'll want to go every month or so. If she gets something special, it's ruined because now she has a taste of one more thing that she now wants MORE of. How are the children supposed to grow up with right attitudes if this is the example they see every day? The attitude of "what I have is not good enough. I deserve more. I will never be satisfied. You are not giving me enough." It's no wonder our culture continues to think they should get everything for nothing, that credit card spending continues, that thrift is a mystery, that simple pleasures are seen as an ancient oddity.

When we believe that we are entitled to things, that seems to be when we set ourselves up for trouble. When we feel we are entitled to a vacation, a certain amount of spending money, more time for ourselves, what happens when we cannot have those things?

Sure, it's nice to have things that make life easier or nicer. But can you manage to be just as thankful without it? With less? Do you have an inner attitude that results in happiness even if the car breaks down, the money is tight, and you are going to stay home?

To me, remembering all that we have to be thankful for is powerful. When you are deeply thankful and know how greatly you are blessed just as you are, it tends to crowd out the stinkin' thinkin' and whining about what we do not have, and our endless wandering eye over all the things we want that seem out of reach.

I love the song More Than Enough from Jana Stanfield. If you have an opportunity to buy her album Brave Faith, do it. It is so positive and uplifting. I sometimes sing it to myself through my day. Here are the words:

More Than Enough

Hey na na na na na more than enough

(Chorus) I have more than enough
Of all that I need
To do all I can do
Be all I can be
As I go through this day
This is my creed
I have more than enough
Of all that I need
I have more than enough
Of all that I need

Is there anyone who can't remember a time
When you had less money and you did just fine
Compared to where we were we've come all this far
Why not spend the day enjoying where we are

Take a quick look back at dreams of yesterday
Dreams of living the life that you live today
We spend so much time wanting so much more
When there's plenty here to be thankful for

Floatie Swim Suit Safety Alert

I wrote this post several years ago, and now dig it out every year and re-post to share with people each summer.

We have an Easy Set pool at our house. It's a pretty big one, and we have floatation swim suits for our three youngest boys to wear, although we keep the pool shallow enough that all of them can walk around in it and still have their heads above water. Last year when I bought the suits the baby was one and the better quality suits did not come in his size, so I got a cheaper one, which he had continued to wear this year.
The other day the kids were playing in the pool while my husband and I sat on the deck watching them and chatting. Our youngest, who is now 2, lost his footing in the pool and very quickly was floating face down in the water. Fortunately my husband saw it right away and got to him within just a few seconds, so everything turned out ok.

BUT

The problem is that this suit was not designed to flip a child over onto their back if they needed to rely on the floatation! Our baby was helpless, face down in the water. He would have actually been safer with no suit on at all, since he would have been able to stand to his feet after losing his footing.

It only takes a very few moments for a little one to drown. I am so thankful we were right there with our eyes on the pool happenings.

We tossed out that suit and today I went and bought him one of the better ones, that are designed to keep a kid floating on their backs. Here is the difference between the two suits:

The kind that flips a child onto their back has a float in the front of the suit that is longer than the one in the back.

The kind of suit that put my baby into the pool face first is a kind that is designed for children who need a floatie while learning to swim. The floats are all around the suit and are the same size all the way around.

Just thought someone else might appreciate the reminder. Go check and see if your little one's floatie suits will flip them to their backs in their moment of need.

We Danced Til Our Feet Went Numb

My husband turned 40 on Sunday and I threw him a big bash, complete with DJ, lights, lots of guests, and tons of fun. Our theme was Dance Til Your Feet Go Numb, thanks to our love of Family Force 5's music. Here are a few photos from the evening:

Me (complete with hair that lost the battle with humidity) and my birthday man:

My husband and our daughter dancing together:

Several boys (the two kids on the outside aren't ours, the three in the middle are):

Our youngest, looking cool with his glow sticks. We had two talented photographers that caught some cool shots for us:

I am seriously contemplating the potential merits of getting rid of half of our stuff. In most categories, I think it could be done....

Sometimes I have women that are older than me (maybe 50+) tell me that getting older is great because they spend so much less time worrying about what others think of them, and more time enjoying being themselves. Happily, I am already experiencing some of that. (I look forward to getting better at it)

I found out about this poem today and thought it went along with the sentiment and gave me a chuckle. I think it can apply across many people, not just passing lads. :)

Indian Summer

In youth, it was a way I had
To do my best to please,
And change, with every passing lad,
To suit his theories.

But now I know the things I know,
And do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!

Dorothy Parker

Things Life Has Been Teaching Me

I can trust my gut.

I have solid instincts.

When people show you who they really are, believe it.

Random Bits and Pieces

The Help was a fabulous read and I highly recommend it.

We rec'd Settlers of Catan for Christmas and finally learned to play it a few weeks ago. We are having so much fun with this interesting game that has many layers of thinking and strategy involved. I love it that even my youngest kids are learning to play. I can't help but believe that they are learning some excellent strategic thinking skills.

My husband and I watched a few movies last week. Couples Retreat was fun and had a good pro-marriage, pro-staying together message. Precious was tough to watch, certainly not a feel-good movie, but also an inspirational story of a young woman who overcomes huge obstacles to have a better life for herself and her children. If you think you can handle the subject matter and you can appreciate the combination of tragedy and redemption, you might be glad you watched it. Amazing performances by the main actors in this film. We were in awe.

My oldest son got his driver's license. Although I think I do a very good job of helping my children grow onward and upward as is normal and healthy, this is a bit intimidating. Just knowing that one inadvertent bonehead move can result in serious consequences.....oy! It makes me shiver a bit. He'll do fine, though, and so will I. This is the first driver of six for me. Just think what a cool cucumber I will be when I am done with that. :)

Our season of Upward Basketball ended, and we were very thankful that we took time to have three of our boys participate. It was a wonderful experience, I would definitely recommend the organization, and we are looking forward to next basketball season.

There are so many good things going on in my life, but alas, most feel too precious to try to explain in blog entries. I'll just say that I am happier, more content, and more peaceful in most areas of my life than I have been for awhile.

A Good Laugh

I've been quiet here for a long time. I used to live my life and see opportunities for blog posts every day. I guess with the development of facebook, I now think more in terms of short updates. Plus, while I probably have just as much "material" in my life, I guess I feel like there is less I feel the desire to share. Since my grandmother died in July I think I have been more sad and blue and tired than usual, and there just isn't a whole lot about my outlook on life that seems like I need to tell it.

Much of how I feel these days is caught between what I want to be/think I should be as opposed to apparent reality. I do not know how to reconcile the two. I do not know if this is just a season that I should embrace and rest, in hopes that I'll later be better able to do more. I think I may have lost my ability to know how much is too much, how much is enough, what level of ease or turning away from additional things is necessary or ok.

The Haiti earthquake had me in tears and dilemma for weeks. I know there are orphans all over the place that need a family. I know that God wants orphans in families. (longtime readers will remember that this is something I've been thinking about a lot) My personality is such that the first question I ask is, "Why not me?" But as I live out my days, teetering somewhere between overwhelm and feeling like we're just getting to a stage that I've looked forward to for so long, I often say to myself that there is just No Way Possible that I could take on another child at this time. But of course, those are the bad days. I have good days too. Aren't I entitled to good days? As a Christian, as a concerned human, as a woman with a heart bigger than reality, am I entitled to peaceful days and a life that feels like it is moving in the right direction? Do I have to live on the ragged edge of high adventure, turmoil, challenges, saying yes, and MORE on my plate?

I often come back around to the thought that if everybody who could possibly do a little bit more to alleviate the suffering in this world would do it, that would be a whole lot of good stuff. And I do a lot of those good things now. At what point can I decide I'm at maximum capacity? If never, how do I balance that with my responsibility to my current family, or the absolute need to take care of myself? When I have weeks when I find it too difficult to reach out to ONE PERSON in my community that I had decided in my own mind to actively help on a weekly basis, I question my ability to do more. If the simpler things cannot happen, how could I do a much, much bigger thing on a forever basis?

I don't have any answers. (or, maybe I have several conflicting answers)

The thinking and guilty feelings and despair over not feeling like I can help the people I have the heart to help threaten to overwhelm me at times. I had to stop reading any stories about Haiti or looking at the pictures, because I just don't know how to live well in the midst of my weakness and deep concern.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A gal from my church works at an orphanage in Haiti and we had already scheduled a big baby shower for the orphanage, months before the earthquake hit. Buying onesies and little ruffled pants and socks and baby food and little spoons made me cry in walmart. There is always a little voice in the back of my head asking me if I can do more. It's a good voice, except when it's not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's not just orphans that get in my head. I have Shoulds all around me. Whether it be undone chores, curriculum items that I still haven't taken time to read, understand, and implement, half-started systems that I can barely remember why I thought I wanted to do them in the first place, piles of books on the shelf that someone, somewhere along the way told me I should read, but I don't have time or interest in.

Well, I decided to boot out as many Shoulds as possible. I purged the book pile of anything that did not jump out at me as something I wanted to read anytime soon, and listed all of it on paperback swap. Have been mailing them out daily ever since. Good riddance! I hope your new owner enjoys you. I will enjoy not feeling a little tiny bit of bad for not spending my time with you.

I parted with curriculum that had been waiting for my attention for a year and a half. Looks great, but obviously I am not going to get around to it anytime soon.

I delegated a bunch of school duties to my husband, who now has more time to partner up with me on the responsibilities of the homeschooling. Along with the delegation went the guilt that I was feeling for not being able to do everything. Buh-bye!

I am seriously considering dismantling my latest and greatest organization plan. Not that it wasn't a good idea. It was. I've just had trouble making the switch over to it, and what I was doing before was working just fine, really and truly. (one of those "If it ain't broke" lessons) Seems like retreating to the last known workable plan would make sense and alleviate my negative feelings every time I observe the mess that is my not-yet-fully-implemented-system.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In happier news, we do have good things happening. I don't know if I've mentioned it here before, but back in August I took on a part time job working with an adult gal that is developmentally handicapped. I had two motivations for doing it, both of which were pure in heart despite the fact that I was unsure if I could handle adding it into my life and really didn't want to take it on for several reasons. As it turned out, it has been a blessing in so many ways that I had not anticipated. Relationships have benefited, I'm enjoying using my skills to help others, and financially it has helped a lot. We are now able to do things as a family that we always wanted to do but could not afford. Last week we were able to take our kids to Indiana for a really fun day of snow tubing. In a few weeks we're going to an indoor water park resort for two days. It's delightful to finally be able to say yes to so many things, especially since our oldest son is still home with us and still likes to hang out with us. We discussed the possibility of doing a fairly expensive vacation, but ended up choosing to spend the money on a series of "staycations" where we'll do lots of cool mini-vacations and outings near home. It's a big, big list. I hope we have time for it all. :)

Insomnia Will Do This To You

Yesterday I found out about Regretsy. Oh. My. Word. Too funny for words. Go and laugh. (some graphic/adult content, so beware if the kiddies are around...)

Everybody

Happy is the heart that still feels pain
Darkness drains and light will come again
Swing open your chest and let it in
Just let the love, love, love begin

Depression and the Church

Found this interesting discussion going on at Carlos Whittaker's blog about the Christian Church and depression. What do you think?

A New Beginning

Today we are welcoming a new doggie into our life. Her name is Brandi. She was in need of a home, and after having Marlee, we are more aware of the needs of animals and are wanting to share our life with them. The kids are especially excited. (though I think my husband and I are pretty excited about her as well) Isn't she beautiful?

A philosophy I want to live by

Let us touch the dying,
the poor,
the lonely
and the unwanted
according to the graces we have received
and let us not be ashamed or slow
to do the humble work....
if you can't feed a hundred people,
then feed just one...

~ mother teresa

Things I'll Miss

Remember the times when I said that one of the things I think I'll miss when my kids grow up is their notes? Yeah, well, tonite I found this doozie laying on the laundry room floor. I am not sure if Jacob was the recipient, or if he was signing it. "Thanks a lot. Jerk!" I guess we've all been there a time or two... (notice the crying little guy...my heart! poor kid.)

2009 End of Year Meme

This is my sixth year doing an end-of-the-year meme here!

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?

Took on the exciting challenge of homeschooling all six of my children.

Got an exercise partner and got going with a regular workout plan that is working great 7 months later!

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Yes I did, and yes I will.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Friends from church just had twins last week! Other friends at church had their second child.

4. Did anyone close to you die? My Gram died in July. It still hurts. She was awesome.

Our rescue dog Marlee died two weeks ago. Knowing and loving Marlee has changed me forever.

5. What countries did you visit? None, as usual.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? Brain space.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Last year's meme mentioned something really difficult that our family was experiencing. The day that was resolved for us (which took all the way until June) was important.

I traveled to visit my Gram in May, taking a special trip there because we knew she was declining in her health. I knew it would be the last time I saw her. It was a good visit. I'm glad I went.

Seeing our dog Marlee through to the end of her life is something I will remember forever.

My brother and his girlfriend, my sister, and my mom and her husband all came here to spend some days with us after Christmas, and it was great to spend that time with them.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Surviving and thriving through some really tough stuff. And embracing homeschooling all six kids. And losing 30 pounds!

9. What was your biggest failure? I've had too many blessings to recall any failures.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Not that I remember.

11. What was the best thing you bought? The best thing I "bought" was No Regrets, by following my heart on many things, from the travels I took to spend time with much-loved family members, to the way we continued to care for our sweet dog until she died. Peace of mind and soul is a very valuable thing to possess.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? (same answer as last year) Mine! Saying yes to homeschooling, and being fiercely committed to what I feel is the right thing for my kids, even when difficult, is something I celebrate.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and disgusted? Thankfully I cannot think of who that would be.

14. Where did most of your money go? Living!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? My oldest son choosing to be homeschooled again, and the way he is loving it. I am so blessed to be surrounded by my fabulous kids every day!

16. What song will always remind you of 2009? The first is a good one from the radio, and the FF5 is a fun memory from when I went to Ichthus with my teenagers in June!



17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? definitely happier
b) thinner or fatter? 30 pounds thinner!
c) richer or poorer? richer!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? I don't know if I wish I had, but it would have been nice to rest more and read more. For some crazy reason I don't have much time for those items....

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? I could say crying, except the amount of crying I did is only because of how deeply I love. And I wouldn't want to change that.

20. How will you be spending New Year's Eve? Going to a dear friend's birthday party, and then playing games with the kids, and then hanging out with my hubby. :)

21. Did you fall in love in 2009? I'm always in love.


22. What was your favorite TV program? Deadliest Catch, Castle, Survivor

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I don't do hate.

24. What was the best book you read? Stretching Lessons by Sue Bender. Wonderful!

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Family Force 5 (discovered at Ichthus)

26. What did you want and get? A wide flat screen computer monitor. (thanks honey!) Now I can see two browser windows at once!

Also, help cleaning my house. Yay! A longtime dream of mine that last year I wrote about as a thing I wanted but did not get. This year I decided to get the help when I could afford it, and it has been absolutely lovely. In 2010 I hope to get even more help. I sure could use it!

27. What did you want and not get? Can't think of anything.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? The Proposal

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 38 this year, and I didn't have a cake because I had stopped eating sugar a month before. :) 38 has been sweet nonetheless.

30.What one thing would have made your year measurably more satisfying? Spending more time with my extended family.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? Improving!

32. What kept you sane? Remembering the reasons why I have chosen the path I'm on.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Can't think of any fancies...

34. What political issue stirred you the most? Politics doesn't stir me much.

35. Who did you miss? My Gram. I miss her every day, but thankfully have a zillion excellent memories to reflect on.

36. Who was the best new person you met? Right now I can't think of a totally new person, but there are several people in my life that have been wonderful to get to know better.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. This wasn't a new lesson, but am important one to be reminded of: Make decisions based on your solid beliefs, and live them out in the best way you know how. You will be blessed.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. From Michael Franti: "I love you! I love you! I love you!"

A few thoughts on the Law of Love and the ceasing of oppression Share

Today in church we sang Oh Holy Night. The third verse says:

Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!

I had so many thoughts going through my head:

He taught us to love one another: How many of us hold back our love for others? I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to give love to our dog Marlee as well as the people in my life. I learned a lot from that experience and will always be thankful for the opportunity she gave me, and the time we shared together. Sometimes people treat their love like a commodity that might run out if they spread it around too much. I think giving love away helps us have more love. If you don't believe me, how about if you try it and get back to me?

The law of love and gospel of peace: How simple. And simply beautiful. I wish more of us could let the law of love guide us, and that we would all choose peace any time it can be possible. What would our decisions look like if we let the law of love guide us?

The slave is our brother. In His name all oppression shall cease:

I thought of the precious, innocent little children used a human slaves for sick perverts, and organizations like gozoe.org that serve and save these children. It's amazing how small an amount of money you can give that will literally save a child's life.

People living as immigrants in foreign lands, far from their families, suffering, struggling, at the mercy of others who take advantage of them, with little or no hope of return.

I also thought of the 20 families represented that came to the food pantry last Thursday, and how sad it made me to see so many people in such need.

God, help me find ways and strength to reach out and be a source of comfort and assistance to others!

12 Days of Christmas for the Large Family

Win-Win

One of the things I've been learning about and growing in is being more aware of how I'm feeling, and not being afraid to make decisions that feel right for me, instead of constantly putting myself second to other people and issues.

Today I got on a roll with tackling some household projects that needed to get done. It was one of those elusive days when I had the energy and focus to really make headway on something. As the day went on, several emotional issues came up. By this evening, I feel tired and sad. I was supposed to go to our church Christmas party tonite. It would mean that I had to stop the thing I was enjoying making progress on, to make dinner, clean up the kitchen, straighten my hair (a lengthy process), and find something festive to wear (not too easy for me--owner of the USA's smallest female wardrobe).

While I was rotating some laundry before getting ready, my husband came along and noticed that I looked out of sorts. "What's wrong?" "I don't want to go! I'm comfy in the clothes I'm wearing, I'm making progress on my project, and I don't care about the party. I'm sad and tired and just want to take care of myself."

"So don't go."

How simple. (I was already thinking that, but did not expect him to be so supportive of it.)

I already had a babysitter lined up. What were my options? Greet her at the door with a check for what I would have paid her had I gone? Could there be something else?

I decided to let her stay and play with the kids while I do whatever I feel like doing. She'll probably go home earlier than expected, but I'll pay her the full amount.

A win-win situation, in my mind. And it feels good to be able to say no to something I wanted to say no to, and not have to work myself up to some social obligation that I've built up in my mind.

*It's been several hours since I wrote the above thoughts. Right now I'm intrigued by how difficult it is for me to take good care of myself, even in the midst of trying to be mindful and purposeful about it. I overdid it on the project, and now my back is hurting. For some reason, even though what I mostly wanted to do was lay down and read a nourishing book, I watched most of a boring documentary before finally telling myself to stop it and go get that book. It's weird, really, how much within me (maybe what I'm conditioned to do?) fights against simply saying yes to what I'd like the most.

A beautiful way to give, and give some more

My 17 year old son told me about TOMS shoes. For every pair you buy, 1 pair is given to a child in need. What a beautiful thing. He asked for a pair of TOMS for Christmas. You betcha!

Buy Handmade: The Melting Pot Candle Company

I just love candles (who doesn't?!) and when I can find
ones that are handmade by a mom, I like 'em all the better.

The Melting Pot Candle Company is owned and operated
by Natasha, a 31 year old wife and mother of 3 (plus one on the way!).
She was kind enough to send me some sample products
to check out, including bath salts,  mini melts, a tart warmer, 
a soap sample, and some little tea light candles.  PLUS
She's offering a giveaway..be sure to read all the
way to the 
bottom of this post for details!
The mini melts are really cute, some even having
sprinkles on them
to make them more festive, and the scents are really
nice and yummy.  :)  I'm looking forward to giving
some of these
great items as gifts for Christmas.  The prices are
bargains--you can really get a lot for your dollar,
and put together a beautiful,
useful, as well as economical gift here.

Natasha shares about how she got started in
her business: 
I started making soy and palm tarts because my
favorite tart maker decided to no longer sell her products.
I was on a mission to make the best tarts for the best price.
I love making homes smell great and people happy.

What inspires you?  
My customers inspire me!
I get a lot of feedback from my items and I am grateful
for each and every one of my customers.
I try my best to make sure each and every order to
every person is perfect.
I get a lot of joy trying new things and sending them
as freebies or having particular customers try new products.
I appreciate their thoughts and take them all very seriously.

What are some of your favorite items in your shop? 
Some of my favorite items are my new ones!
I love handmade soap.
With the economy getting tighter and pressing on my
own wallet I could no longer afford to buy from other WAHM's
so I created my own and offer them at the lowest possible prices. 
Some of my favorite scents are Oatmeal Milk and Honey,
Wild Mountain Honey, Pink Sugar, Cotton Candy and
Sweet Orange and Chili Pepper!  

One of my favorite things about The Melting Pot
Candle Company is their Random Act of Kindness program.
If you know somebody who needs a "pick me up" or deserves
a little special something, you can send in your story about them.
Once a month someone is chosen to get a special goodie
package from The Melting Pot for FREE!  How sweet is THAT?!
This sort of
thoughtfulness and heart is the kind of thing that makes me
LOVE supporting mom-owned businesses.... Heart!
You can read more about that here.

As I looked through the Melting Pot site I saw over
and over again the sort of thoughtfulness
and heart that goes into this business.  From
conscientious shipping policies, and being mindful 
of pricing and speedy service, I am impressed and
pleased to recommend The Melting Pot
Candle Company to you.  :)  

GIVEAWAY:

Natasha is offering one lucky winner a candle burner, tea lights, and
5 tarts of their choice of wax (soy or palm) and scent! (photo below shows details)


To enter:

1. Visit The Melting Pot Candle Company and look around.
Come back here and leave a comment, letting me know which 5 scents you'd want to win! Be sure that your email address is included so that I can contact you if you win.

2. To get an extra entry, join their facebook fan page by clicking here. Leave a comment letting me know that you joined and your name as it appears on the fan list.

3. To get another entry, blog about The Melting Pot Candle Company. Leave a comment letting me know you did this, with a link to your post.

1 winner will be randomly chosen on Saturday, December 12.

Buy Handmade: Anise Mouette

Anise Mouette is a super-fun place to shop for retro-inspired handmade goodies. Check these out:

Felt Plush Toys!

How cute are these scarves with little animal friends?!

I love these birdies! (Anise sent me a tote bag with this design.
Love it!! Nicely made, and great for a reusable grocery bag!)

Itty bitty finger puppets that are SO sweet!
(I got one for someone on my Christmas list! It is well made and totally adorable.)

Tell a bit about yourself:
My name is Anise and I live in Altadena, California,
with my 22 month old son Cyan and husband Biff.  
My Etsy shop is anisemouette.etsy.com.  
The name makes up my first and middle names
which are French, though I’m not French,
at least not entirely.  
I’m a native Angeleno, though I did live
with my parents in Paris for a brief time in the
early seventies when I was just a baby.

How did you get started creating your products?
When I was a child I loved to draw and over
the years I've taken more art classes than
I can count. 
In college I enrolled as an art major, but
I eventually majored in English literature 
and then went on to pursue a master's in
creative writing. 
Following, I taught collegiate English for
seven years, but with the birth of my son,
I decided to take a break from the working
world and spend more time at home. 
In doing so, I was inspired to pick up the
pencil once again. 
Memories of my childhood and the playful
nature of my son became the focus of my
work and then, 
after stumbling upon Etsy and the Handmade
Movement, 
I was immediately inspired to take my
designs to the next level 
and create Anise Mouette - a line of
retro-inspired handmade wares 
that include toddler & adult tees,
canvas totes, “kitsch”en magnets, utility aprons, 
and now felt goods.

What inspires you? 
As mentioned, both my son and memories
of my childhood inspire me the most, 
although I am always up for a challenge
and often try my hand at craft challenges 
such as those held on Craftster every month
which allow me the opportunity to 
work with new ideas and mediums on a
regular basis.

What are some of your favorite items
in your shop? 
Recently, I've started working with felt,
so my newest items are my current favorites.
My "record player" tee and tote come in
at a close second while my customer base
seems to love 
my "family fun" items most.

One thing I love hearing about is the
ways that businesses share their
profits with others.  
Here's what Anise does:
Since I've taken a break from teaching,
I'm using a portion of all my sales 
to purchase baby formula for infants in need
so as to keep contributing to my community. 
Once a month I purchase formula locally and
then donate it for immediate distribution 
at the Foothill Unity Center in Pasadena, California.

If you're a crafty gal yourself, and want to try your hand
at making some of the
items that you see at Anise Mouette, you can
check out her blog,
where she spreads
 the crafty goodness, with her “Kitschy Crafts” section.
Anise posts fun how-to 
craft tutorials regularly!  Pretty cool, eh?
(I know my 13 year old daughter will be loving this!)

Here's a picture of Anise and her son. Awwwww! :)


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Happiness Lists

Recently I read a series of articles about happiness. Or, more specifically, about why women are reporting less happiness in their lives than ever in the past 30 years, and what we can do about it personally. You can read part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4 by clickety-clicking. The articles came to me about a week apart from each other, so it gave me time to think about my own happiness, and what I thought contributed to the things I feel happy (or not) about.

In the final article I really liked the suggested lists to make, such as to name the top 20 things that bring you happiness, and the top 20 things in your life that take away happiness. The idea is basically to first identify what activities and people bring you more or less happiness in your life, and then work to cultivate the positive items and reduce the negative ones. I had already taken some steps toward that before even getting the first article, so this was mostly a confirmation for me that I was on the right path.

Tonite I worked on my lists. I'm not good with "top 20" types of things, but I did make some quick lists of whatever sizes came to mind. I don't know if I learned anything new. I think I already know what things I enjoy the most. I do think that identifying those things as strongly as they came across when I was making my list, it gives me some ideas for making time for more of that.

Anyhow--just wanted to share about it here since it seems like a worthwhile activity for many of us. :)

What's something that brings you happiness that you'd like more of in your life?