Quota

My youngest asked what else we were having for dinner. I told him veggies. He said,"veggies?! Veggies! I've had, like, a thousand veggies in my life! How many more is it gonna take?!". I guess he thought we were trying to meet a quota.

Poetic

Overheard my 7 year old say to his brother:

"A bunch of snot was unleashed, and came running out of my nose."

wow.

Berf

Earlier today I had a yogurt that my youngest wanted.

Youngest: "why do YOU get one and I don't?"

Me: "because I'm special."

Youngest: "why are YOU so special?!"

5th child: "because she's the mother that gave us birth!"
(which sounded like "berf")

Yes. I am the berf-er. The end.

Overheard

My younger boys are playing. I just heard:

"Feel my wrath!"

"No. YOU feel MY wrath!"

It's pretty darn fun to have kids in the house.

Things I'll Miss

Remember the times when I said that one of the things I think I'll miss when my kids grow up is their notes? Yeah, well, tonite I found this doozie laying on the laundry room floor. I am not sure if Jacob was the recipient, or if he was signing it. "Thanks a lot. Jerk!" I guess we've all been there a time or two... (notice the crying little guy...my heart! poor kid.)

These Kids Keep Me Laughing

One of the things I love most about young children is their secure faith in how much they are adored.

The other night I was snuggling with my youngest and it went something like this:

A: I love you sooooooooooooo much!

Me: I love you too! I love you HUGE!

A: You are the best mommy in the whole wide world!

Me: You are the best six year old in the whole wide world! I am a lucky mom to have such a great kid as you.

A: Yep! I'm the best kid God ever made!

I laughed and laughed. What a delight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday while doing school with the kids something came up that caused my daughter to jokingly say, "That's because I'm mom's favorite!"

My youngest turned toward me urgently, saying, "WHAT?! I thought *I* was your favorite!!"

He was completely serious.

A Child's Grief and Loss

The other day we took a short drive through the cemetery, on the way to pick up my oldest. My 8 year old immediately started thinking of Gram.

"I wish Gram was dead HERE so we could go and see her."

I explained that although Gram is not buried near us, we would not be able to see her even if she was. I reminded him that Gram is in heaven now, with Jesus and God and her husband. We talked about how great it is that we have so many good memories of her, but he seemed unmoved from the pain of not being able to see her.

At home I immediately got the children gathered at the dinner table, but my 8 year old was a no-show. Thinking he was in the bathroom, I just called to him to say it was dinner time, and didn't worry about it. He'll be along soon.

Nope. He was on his bed, sobbing into his pillow.

When I found him there I gave him a hug and asked what was making him sad.

"It's all too much! Gram is dead and I will never get to see her again. And Ono and Oyeah* live far away and I have not gotten to see them for a long time either. Gram is dead and it is all too much!"

Wow.

It was hard to see his pain. I was stricken to hear him describe it the way he did. One of my less verbal children, always fascinating me with the deep things he shares.

*Ono and Oyeah are what my kids call my mom and her husband.

Another Jewel in My Crown

I've shared with you about my Rock Star Mom status in the past. Today I got another jewel in my crown. Behold:

My oldest started 10th grade today. He came home with a pile of papers for me to sign. His instructions were something like, "Just sign these and don't even bother looking at them because they are stupid and don't mean anything."

So of course I took the pile of papers so that I could read every one.

Carefully.

In his Algebra 2 class the teacher had a survey for the kids to fill out. Smart woman, methinks. She asked questions that would help her know more about the kids and their personalities.

One of the items was: The person who has had the most influence on my life is ________

My kid's answer? My Mom

Woo Yeah! I love that. :)

Of course, this is the same child who also gave the following answers:

The best move I've seen recently is: Brokeback Mountain

My favorite movie of all time is: My Little Pony Island Adventure 2

My favorite TV show is: Sex and the City

Are there any medical conditions/allergies that I need to be aware of in the classroom? Tourettes

Isn't he a gem? Don't you wish you could get a kid like this of your very own?!

Since my son is oh-so-very witty, I have given him a dose of his own medicine. Not only did I sign the bottom of this survey, but also included a little note for his teacher:

I would like to assure you that my son has never watched Sex and the City OR Brokeback Mountain. But My Little Pony Island Adventure 2 is definitely one of his favorites of all time. In fact, we will probably show it at his 16th birthday party, which is coming up soon! If my son's music career doesn't work out, he can always be a professional comedian. Wouldn't you agree?

Have a great year.

P.S. He doesn't have Tourettes.

Overheard

The other day as I was working at the computer, I heard my children upstairs having a conversation. It went something like this:

Child: Eeew! You stink! You farted! That was a big fart! Gross!
(*with five boys in the house, I can assure you that they looove all things fart-related)

Different child: Yeah! That was a big fart like mom and dads!

(!!!!! What are they saying about me?!)

My daughter: What?! WHEN have you EVER heard Mom fart?!

(a few moments of contemplative silence from her siblings)

Child: Yeah, that's true. Mom doesn't fart.

(they all verbalize their agreement. Mom has never farted. It simply does not happen.)

Different child: But Dad does.

All: Yep.

First week of school

Here is a conversation I overheard between my 6th grade son M. and my 1st grade son J. after their 4th day of school this year:

H (2nd grade daughter): Hi M. How was your day?
M: It sucked.
H: It sucked?
M: Yeah, it sucked.
J: Well my day sucked too.
M: *Your* day sucked? What could suck about first grade?!
J: Yeah, it really did! (emphatically)
M: Well what happened that sucked about your day?
J: We had this really hard homework and it was hard for me to do.
M: Oh.
J: Well, what sucked about your day?
M: I got punched by a stupid kid.


It's gonna be a looooooooong school year......

(and, you know, when I was a kid my mother would put tobasco sauce in our mouth if we said *fart* and here I am with kids that say *sucks*....where have I gone wrong???)